⌛ Filipino Character

As many of you know I have been here for a while and have been married to my filipina wife for 30 years. In those years I experienced many examples of both the good and the bad in Filipino Character. What I am going through at the moment has forced me to rethink and reevaluate my opinions.

My mother in law recently broke her hip and I have been taking care of the expenses. Even though I don't like her very much I provided meds, wheelchair and doctor visits. I have had to pay her own daughters to look after her. Every time she had to visit a doc I had to pay a relative to go along and lift her in and out of the cab. She is now in the hospital for a hip replacement, you can guess whose paying for this. The real kicker came when she was scheduled for surgery tomorrow. We needed 4 units of type O blood for the surgery. Apparently there is a shortage of type O. Immediate family with the exception of one niece refused to donate. Other family members want 500 pesos plus expenses to donate.

With out a doubt this is the rottenest bunch of lowlifes it has ever been my misfortune to meet. Like so many Filipinos I have met they look at another's distress as an opportunity for profit.

I'd be banned from this forum for life if I really said what I feel. Thanks for letting me vent.

 

Disgusting....but not that surprising. I'd suggest putting the peso pistol back in its holster...and tell the whole mob to get f'd.

 

Good to vent Kenny. I don't know if it is an obligation or we are just stuck with it to take care our mother in laws, but I'm guessing the high majority of us provide sizable support. I think Garbonzo nailed it with his comments on relatives wanting pesos for their blood. Go ahead and vent some more, if needed, we hear you loud and clear.

 

Just want to let you know that 500 pesos for a blood donation of type O is very cheap.
Better accept before they realise they can ask 1,500 pesos.

 

I fully understand your feeling and the frustration about this situation. Helping relatives or others is definitely our duties. However, if some members of the family do not show recognition and positive attitude/solidarity, I guess I would just stop helping these members in the future. Remind them when they require help the reason why you dont want to do it (I have done so several times and it works in the long term).

 

Kenny,
I also fully understand your feelings and need to vent. I'm not sure if I was in the same position I could be as polite as you.

Just a thought, do you think they are gold digging or also don't really like her and don't care?

Anyway not knowing the complete situation, I would be tempted to lock my front door until they realize just how much help you have been and also agree to do what they can honestly do to help. I hope this isn't to harsh.
Ron

 

What a Shame!

:o Kenny! What can I say, My wife has read your post and is appalled at the Family attitude. She reminded me of 4 years ago when we buried a nephew, I paid some 85.000p in total of Hospital Bills and Burial, 2 weeks later a new Motorbike appeared at the house and gambling debts rose there heads. Then they produced a further demand from the hospital.You can imagine MY venting. The biggest NO came.If needed and we give supprt, we arrange and organise, we never hand any cash over. PatO had it right, we must not become the family ATM! WE hope things go the right way for you Kenny, I have said it before, Some (maybe after this we will find most) just don't understand the word NO! Kenny, Vent on, it has to come out of your system, most of us have been there, we will understand.


Jack P.

 

Is okey to vent. And gawd that was very brave to say that and Proud of you doing that. No sarcasm here. Where were we all gone without the foreign-husbands?

Let your PH-wives work, and then they can continue support the family financially without having the dollar-euro hubby to do the financing.

 

Kenny, I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. I am Filipino but I feel your frustration. I have had relatives try to bring misfortune to me and my parents just because of greed and envy. My boyfriend is a foreigner and I always try to keep him as far away as possible from a lot of my family members. I have learned that the relatives you will want to be close to in the Philippines must be chosen very, very carefully.

In the meantime, why don't you ask your wife to give her family members a lecture to make them realize their horrible behavior? It might bring them to their senses.

 

Does your mother in law need O Rh- or O Rh+ blood? The RH value is quite important, as if she is O- and you give her O+, you won't be doing her any favors, whether you like her or not.
I used to give regularly for free,(at SUMC), as I have O-, in this cuntry/province, it's extremely rare, I only know of 2 others that have the same 'universal donor' type.

Additional info from Phil Red Cross FAQ's: -

19. What is the most common blood type?
The approximate distribution of blood types in the Philippines population is as follows (though distribution may be different for specific racial and ethnic groups):

O Rh-positive --- 44-46 percent
A Rh-positive --- 22-23 percent
B Rh-positive --- 24-25 percent
AB Rh-positive --- 4-6 percent
Rh-negative group --- Less than 1 percent