How and why did you end up here in the Philippines

Come on guys keep this thread going I have really enjoyed reading tonight, I was just saying to my asawa that there are no ladies commenting on here but good to here at least one has put themselves out there. My misery storey started in 2006 on the net, met the woman in 2008 finished up in 2010 with a major financial disaster, which is still not sorted, but my second attempt is by far an outstanding relationship, it’s been 16 months only but the difference is hemmm how can I explain it, ah I got it the difference a Volks Wagen and a Mercedes Benz sorry about the car analogy but I am a motor mechanic lol, she does not demand money for shopping, she is easily pleased, very loving, caring, sweet, it really feels like we have been together for many years, we have the issue with her mother asking for money on a regular basis, even tho it is only very small it drives my Asawa crazy.

 

I must agree with one of the DI members that a lot of the phil men, I wont say all in fear that some one will be offended, tend to use there lovely often virgin girl friends get them pregnant then run for the hills, then start all over again, another girl another town, leaving the family of the abandoned girl to look after his child, about time something was done about that, I can see why a phil lady would choose a foreigner over a local guy, not for the money but for a decent loving and caring guy that will be there for her.

 

well, there are always 2 needed, and as the receiver bears the way higher risk than the donor since thousands of years, i would not call it a testimony of smartness of the ladies.
However I know so many people here and many times the word "love" can be replaced easily by social security. There would be enough 60 year old single locals who give and need love and care of a young girl and would not run away...

 

Yes, heard about it and experienced it a couple of times. It is also know as The Seven Year Itch. Let me explain it. By the time 7 years rolls around the guy is tired of fantasizing about a young chick while he is doing the weekly obligatory number with the wife. So he decides to have a little extra curriculum activity. Very common here in the Philippines.

 

Lets get back to topic guys

LETS GET BACK TO TOPIC GUYS

G'day, simple mind

Not living in Negros yet, just an expat in waiting

For about 10 yrs i had hung out in Yahoo's Christian Chatrooms where i sought to participate in the chatroom dialogue.
In that time many Filipinas had messaged me wanting private chat conversations.
They were all after one thing, a foreign husband and i was not in the least bit interested in a foreign wife.
So i usually blew them off quickly (but politely) as i did with most of the 3rd world chatters.

My wife and i met (virtually) online, on July 3rd 2008 at 7:25pm (Aust CST) in chatroom 4 of Yahoo Christian Chat.
Prenilie is the younger of 2 daughters of a farmer from Negros, but was living with relatives in Marilao, Bulacan on Luzon.

Neither of us were there seeking romance, just fellowship.

Prenilie was different, she wasn't "hunting", so i felt safe to chat to her (fool).
She was looking for Christian music to download, so i helped her (i'm a googlemeister).

On the webcam she looked about 15yo and i never imagined anything more than friendship, until, several weeks into our friendship, she asked me:

"What is our status?".

Caught totally off guard, all i could say was:

"Friends with potential" lol

It was when she got a Job in SM Marilao (Bulacan) and her shifts (9:30am-6:30pm, or, 12:30-9:30pm) often made it hard for her to get online before i went to bed (i had 7am start and i'm 1½ hrs advance of Phil time).
Starting to miss her companionship terribly, i began writing poems (something new to me) which i texted to her mobile phone:

2 examples:

This day today,
I must now confess
adoring a,
Negrene princess.

She is so far,
away from me,
but her sweet smile,
fills me with glee,

At first she was,
suspicious and wary,
but now i know,
how to make her merry,

Have not seen her,
for a while,
could i be now,
out of style?

Absence Makes,
The Heart Grow Fonder,
where is Prenile,
the girl from yonder?

--------------------

Another week,
passes by,
no Prenilie,
tell me why?

A new job,
she has got,
because of this,
I see her not.

I think of her,
each passing day,
missing her so,
I have to say.

Her sweet face,
I long to see,
this Negrene girl,
enchanting me.

Her cute face,
I love admiring
of her looks,
I'm never tiring.

This darling is,
a woman of God
I dream of her,
in the land of nod.

The Holy Spirit,
is like a dove,
could i be now,
falling in Love

To be true to the facts, Prenilie wrote poetry to me 1st (she started it).

One huge advantage that the Filipina has over the western women is:

Filipinas realise that ROMANCE is NOT a ONE WAY STREET!

So yes, i eventually realised that i was falling in love, it kind of snuck up on me!

Prenilie's above average English gramma, spelling and vocab, was one of the many great qualities that attracted me to her. Her English was better than any other Filipino i chatted to on the internet (that includes 2 pastors and an architect), but it was the nature of her faith and the effect that she had on me personally that made me decide that i needed her (It had come to my attention that i had been becoming a better person since knowing her).

Some time before this point, my Brain, wanting to protect my often broken heart, said, i would be a fool to fall in love with the 1st Filipina that i bothered getting to know.

Maybe they were all wonderful (and they generally were).

So i created a new Yahoo Chat ID: "seeking_filipina_bride".

Now instead of avoiding them, i had cast a net to entice more Filipinas to message me in YCC.
In no time, i had created a text file full of the details of many Filipinas.
Prenilie started on the top of the list.
The names below jostled for position, often changing.
One constant remained, Prenilie never lost her position at the top of the page!

The more sweet, beautiful, adorable, lovable Filipinas i chatted to on webcam, the more sure i was that Prenilie was THE ONE 4 me!

Pato and others would be proud of me, because i also did much research on the net about Filipino culture and the pros & cons of Filipina wives.
Some of it was very scary (Beware Of Philippine Girls, Take A Look At Vietnam) and i learned both good and bad from LOVE and ROMANCE FILIPINO STYLE
So i was aware of the Foreigner=ATM and extended family stuff.

So by September 2008 we had decided that we should marry.
Plan A was that i would fly there in March 2009 meet in person, then bring her back on a holiday visa and marry her in Australia.
A few weeks before my planned visit, her holiday visa application was rejected, on, of all days, Valentines day !
Plan B included Prenilie organising an office wedding in less than a month, including bypassing the compulsory preMarriage seminar.
So i flew there (1st time OS), we met at NAIA, Manila March 9th 2009, were married in Marilao on March 20th 2009 :D then i flew back to Australia on the 28th, alone:(
So an 8 month courtship before pulling the trigger

Her Spouse Visa was approved July 31st 2009, but we waited for her sister's wedding in October 2009 before i flew back and attended the wedding.
Prenilie returned with me and arrived in Australia November 1st 2009 just 17 months after meeting online.

During my 2 years at a Bible College (1996-7), where i was doing a counseling degree, some people suggested that i should become a pastor.
My response was always negative.
Two things i never wanted to be, was: (A) a Pastor & (B) a missionary.
During our chats, Prenilie had asked me 3 times if i was a Pastor (her memory has improved since then).
So i realised that she wanted to be a pastor's wife and i wanted to be her husband.....so...........

Our long term plan is to have 1-2 kids here in Aust., buy a 2nd house (bigger, as present house is only 1BR). Once both houses are owned outright, we intend to rent both out, move to Negros and use the rental income to live in Negros as self funded Christian missionaries (unless God has a better plan, which is often the case).

Have been very blessed marrying into a family that has never asked for "hand outs", who are just happy that i make Pren happy.
Though i did buy her Papa an XRM for his B'day so he could ride out to his farm in the mountains
Our age difference is 27 & ¾ years, which is about average for foreigners married to Pinay in DI.
We are looking forward to joining you guys in Negros
.
It may be more than 10 years before we make the move, unless, syempre, we win the Lotto

Have enjoyed reading this thread, would love to read some more stories of expats reasons for ending up living in PI

Cheers

PB

P.S. in my research it was claimed that Negros is in the top 20 islands for expats to retire

 

Prensbana, reading about half way through your post, I said to myself, I sure hope this nice story has a happy ending and doesn't end in a disaster, as a few recent posts have. Glad to see it is indeed a very happy story and thank you for sharing. I hope your long-term plan works out as you would like it to.

 

I just wanted to say, thanks to the guys who shared their stories It helps the rest of us understand the risks and rewards of inter-cultural courtships/marriages.

On Pat0's post with the list (I noticed you like making lists), I'd like to say I didn't find anything offensive. I know you didn't make that list without basis and I understand why the items made it there. I'm pinay, and I've seen failed relationships that would actually make someone want to make a list like that. Just because you are guarding yourself from possible hurt (emotional/financial/etc) does not mean you do not love the other person. In this case, if the pinay really cares about you and knows you enough, she would understand where you're coming from and not be offended that you have set those rules. If she wants to, she can set her own rules for you, too. (If it were me I would probably negotiate on the fb, texting other males, etc rule -- I have guy friends whom I've known for a long time and are strictly friends, and their girl friends and wives are my friends, too.)

Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading more stories!

 

einoj, thank you for your insightful post. To be honest, the list I posted was a result of a relationship I had with a beautiful girl in Makati. It was a hot and cold and up and down torrid but sad love affair, it was the most intense relationship I have ever had, and I've had plenty. When it was hot and up it was bliss; when it was cold and down and it was hell. The downfall was caused by texting (and I'm sure seeing) former boy friends while I traveled on business. By the time she settled down and realized we had something good going, I was turned off by lies and all out of love. Sadly, she attempted suicide twice when I tried to break off the relationship and move her out of my house. I was going to go a year without dating to recover from the heartbreak and stress, and was going to go diving every other week while in transition. However, I met my to-be wife on my first trip to Dauin and she was the complete opposite of the other girl. Because of the pain from the prior relationship, I was very cautious and finally used that check list when we fell in love and decided to get married, after a long enough courtship. The number one characteristic in our marriage is complete trust in each other, and As I told my former gf, without trust there can be no love. So yes, I like lists, they helped me in my former occupation and they helped build the framework for our marriage. My guilt is that the girl ended up hurt and is now pregnant by someone and not married.

 

Thanks again for sharing your story, Pat0. See? You have a very valid reason for your list. I completely understand. And I'm glad to know it did you good, too.

We all make lists at some point in our lives. We may not write it down anywhere, but we do make mental notes. For instance, a girl can mentally make a list like 1. he should not be a seaman 2. he has to text me at least once a day 3. he has to do this 4. he has to do that etc. (I just made this up while thinking about a pinay friend's experience).

Please keep the thread going. I'm sure some of us have already learned a thing or two from these stories.

 

ahh some men are lucky and some are not,though yes by standards the money you earn as a retiree in States or from other European country by pension it means alot when you spend it in the Philippines and if you are lucky enough find women who will like you you and married for better or for worse then you will have a very nice place to live and very comfortable with your pension and small business that will grow bigger one day so i guess you will be happy with all the tropical weather which is really amazing to reckon....so good luck to all of you....