How and why did you end up here in the Philippines

Hi everybody, I have read everything that you guy's wrote and this is good stuff, "Prens Bana's" story is
something I thought not possible but there must be some romantic people out there, I lost my romanticm
a while ago after growing up but if you can keep it alive, I guess it's a handy thing to have around...

 

In reading Pat O list I notice a few items which would have helped me a lot.

I met a young lady in Manila about 3 months ago. I asked the typical questions: Do you have bf or are you married? Do you have children? How many? Where do they live? All the answers were acceptable, having one child living with her mother. I brought her back from Manila to Dumaguete worked on developing a good relationship. I believe in the truth, you may not like what I am or do but I will not lie about anything (rule 8) and you know who I am. Well, it was going well until a week ago Monday, when she got a call telling her that her son had died. I immediately prepared to take her to Manila, but in a few hours was told the body was in Bacolod. Things were getting funny. My landlady talked to her, and determined that the son I was introduced to in Manila was not her son, but her sister’s son. Ok, a little problem but let’s keep going, then the Newspaper article came out stating the boy who was beheaded lived with his older brother…..brother?

Well in the end it turned out she had two children (admitted), her family and herself had played like a young boy in Manila was her son (admitted), while her real sons live in Bacolod with the paternal grandmother (admitted). She may or may not be married (undeterminable, asking at this point in time will get an answer but is it the truth?). None of the things she lied about really matter to me,except if she was married. But the fact that she did lie, made me question everything, and certainly has altered if not destroyed our relationship. These truths may have never come out until we were married had her son’s tragedy not occurred. the motivation for the lies were most likely my breaking rules number 1 thru 3, as I supported her mother as she was suppose to be taking care of her son, while in reality many phone calls to her mom, found her mother asleep after having a few too many beers. I had tried to do the right thing financially but found that it motivated the family to lie about the facts.

Rule 5 came into play also. I had very some guilt in bring her away from her son in Manila so I would send her there every couple of weeks. Breaking the 3 day rule as her last visit was from New Years to her birthday on January 20 (don’t know if this date is true as conflicting information on FB says February 20) made me now question if she is married or not, and if these were conjugal visits. (the newspapers said the parents lived in Manila). Of course once the lies were exposed then everything came into question.
The rules could seem harsh, they would have seem that way to me prior to this incident, but they really are fair in a society where truth and fairness is not always the highest priority. I don’t blame the need for economic security on the ladies, as we are all looking for some type of security in a relationship. And life in the Philippines does not provide much security for a Filipina.

This past week has been hard on both of us, she has lost a son (I am not discounting this issue are all) while we both have lost a relationship that was growing nicely. In the future I will not be so naive. I like to trust, but sometimes it may be a little inappropriate. I found I really did not know her at all.

Why did I come to the Philippines, for the simple life, but this has not been simple at all. I will continue to search for the simple life, but with my eyes open.

 

and all these lies and stories in just 3 month ?

One way ticket ... problem solved

 

That's a terrible experience! It must have felt like the world came crashing down on you. I'm sorry for you. :( I'm sorry for all the serious Pinays out there, too. Lies like these give us a bad reputation. Circumstances must've pushed her to lie and I'm sure as she got to know you she started regretting ever lying to you. Once a lie is said, more follow. Once the truth is revealed, even the true things said seem like lies.

The rules Pat0 listed sound fair. If you lay those ground rules at the beginning, it can keep the scammers away. Ask the pinay for their own ground rules (if they're serious, they have made a rule or two in their head at least.) Good luck on your search!

 

yea same mo as mine, said she came from Cebu, said she had 1 kid, said she was not married, actualy lived in cadiz - had 3 kids - had a husband

 

hey Dave don't give up don't be heart broken my second attempt is amazing great young lady - no scams no hidden ghosts in the closett - you have been bitten but get back on your feet and go for it.

 

......... but don't lose sight of the fact fellas, that you have already been told on this thread, by someone who seems to be the walking talking example of marital perfection, that "filipino women are not to be controlled by insecure foreigners" because a couple of failed marriages behind you makes you an automatic loser anyway.!!!

 

ok i put my hand up I am a loser! but my eyes are wide open.

 

Absurd at best

 

My response to that nonsense is, "bite me".