How and why did you end up here in the Philippines

I think PatO was laying down a man's expectations to his potential wife - nothing wrong with that, others are tips for the gents in love :D. Its better to bare one's expectations up front.

To be fair with Torilian, I'd expect the potential wife to also lay down her expectations of her husband to be. Marriage is a two-way street.

I am not an expat but I enjoy reading this thread. I am learning bits of things here that'd apply to Pinoys as well.

 

I am sure a lot of people have read this thread so far, it worked out the way I hopped for and I hope you keep it going/coming folks....

 

I like your critic. And totally agrees with you. My hubby never told me what and what not to do. He has full trust in me and same here with him. We don't go anywhere without each other... that's right we are glued to our hips and I enjoyed every moment of it. Relationship is feeling committed but at the same time free to express yourself. There ain't no dictatorship in marriage. I think the rules make it stressful to live with your other half who is supposed to be your best friend and soulmate. Poor girl must have those limitations on the back of her head... the emotional control should not be thrown upon someone esp to your wife.. it's like having a leash around her neck. Boy! my four legged babies are treated well than the poor wife if that is the case. Just one word of advice.... guys be nice to your Filipina wife and they will return the favor 10 folds, even more ... don't repeat the mistakes you did in the past many times over you may end up old, bald, alone, and pennyless.... believe me... when Pinays are fed up the fangs come out... it's just natural defense mechanism... just sharing my thoughts..... from one loving Filipina to you all!

 

You are right about that Brian Aussie..... I never had a Pinoy boyfriend b/c I never liked most of them - i found them arrogant and conceited. Saw my married sisters in tears all the time so I told myself that I'd just be a spinster! Until I met my would be American husband when I was in HK thru the internet in early 2000. Went to Hawaii in January 2001 and we got married on Valentines day. I was 33 yrs old. We've been married 11 yrs now and are planning to move in Duma with our 2 four legged sons. I'm proud to say we are both happy.... So really, sometimes you just have to know what you want in life. And to be fair, my parents both stayed together thru thick and thin - of course mostly thin - raising 7 children. They were never separated ... mom did the typical filipina woman duty to her kids and husband.... u wud see her in the kitchen most of the time just doing something for the family. Had budgeted what little money my father brought home from working in the mines (CDCP Mining) Life was so simple then ... we did not have the luxuries that kid have nowadays ... we were happy.... until ..... my four sisters married pinoy men. Things started to be miserable and the rest was a story I learned from. And i also learned living in HK that rich people there are not happy either. They come home late at night from work "maybe" and go to work early in the morning almost no time left for the family. Wife spends the money and hubby strays. So really, happiness could not be bought by money alone. It's something strong that bonds between you and your spouse ...

 

WOW. Very good post, Luv, and a lot of truth in there. I would also like to point out that many foreigners also come here, get a girl preggers, and split as well. As well many Fil/Foreigner marriages are entered into for all the wrong reasons. These are seldom happy unions. I am glad that you (and I) have found good unions.

Larry

 

Me too :-)

 

Me tooo!

 

Me three !

 

Filipina vs White Guy - No Matchhttp://www.dumagueteinfo.com/board/images/smilies/big

I had no idea when I married that I'd gain a country as well as a wife, what a bonus!

I've now lived more than 20 years with a Filipina of indominable personality and impeccable morals, when I was looking I had no problem telling the difference. Some apparently are not so lucky or observant.

Got a girl 'preggers'? I once might have immediately felt sorry, now more likely for the fellow who fell into a 'soft-nosed' honeypot. Like the 16 year-old cousin of my wife who tried to move in with us, a bountifully bosomy flower of fecundity fearlessly following me with open legs, so obvious that my wife nearly collapsed in laugher. It was admitted that the girl had conspired with her mother for me to impregnate her, thereby earning them a livelyhood. Not to worry, she soon got knocked up by a local seaman home on leave, she and her mother are now living high on the remittances.

We personally knew several Filipina 'single mothers' who got on the plane with their Spousal Visas, bellies already bulging with their Filipino boyfriends' next baby. We know others who conspired with their Filipino mate to go abroad with the elderly White Guy, waiting for him to expire before bringing home the wealth. One Filipina we know came back buying a big house and a fishing fleet, denying her 3 children and their father, leaving them in penury.

Have you heard the epithets shouted at your Filipina wife in the public, by tricycle drivers and standbys? Here most assume that all White Guys are married to bargirls and 'single mothers.' Recently when we were shopping for a gift for our son at Lee Plaza, the salesgirl remarked to my wife "Your Kano is so nice to buy presents for your child." Wifey dear exploded which nearly blew the sale. Add this to the list of reasons why she probably regrets that she married me.

Here virgins are dying of old age while the 'basket with many holes' is getting the meal ticket. We've had have several of these as neighbors; drinking, fighting, you better duck when the cell phones start sailing into the parking lot and the PNP are called.

It's an unequal match here, the FOB White Guys don't have a chance.

 

When you married, Tom, the standard mode of meeting a girl was not the internet chocked full of scammers and green card sharks. Times have changed, now every girl has friends and relatives that have married/become "engaged" to a foreigner. They see them go from abject poverty to having expensive cell phones, jewelry, a nice home with a pool, etc. practically overnight. The temptations are tremendous to follow suit. They get coached by their elders on ways to hook the foreigner and how to make them feel sorry enough to send money. They can be terrific actors, and some can play games for years to get the big payoff in the end, a lifetime of support for her and the family.

20 years ago mostly all one would find here was a traditional Filipina with good moral values, now, the "traditional Filipina" is becoming an endangered species.

Isn't technology wonderful?!?

Larry