Best Posts in Thread: How to lose friends in the Philippines

When Filipinos borrow money from relatives or family, the unspoken rule there is “pay when able” because there is nothing the locals hate more than collecting from family.

This is what I do so I don’t lose friends. When they come to me to ask for “a loan”, I tell them I would rather DONATE a small amount to their cause. DONATE so they don’t have to pay me anything back. It’s not going to be anywhere the amount they want, but they’re going to have to take it or leave it. Im not going to get stiffed with the bulk of their debt just because they think I’m an easy target. So just over to donate a small amount instead of giving them a loan. Makes for a smoother relationship.

 

Lending money over here means give.

 

This is a heads up for newcomers to the Philippines as expats who have been here a while would or should already know this.
How to lose friends in the Philippines is simple LEND THEM MONEY because they will not pay it back and if you ask them to pay it back that's when YOU are becoming unreasonable, a strict foreigner, rich when they are poor and all the other things that are said.
Its happened to me twice both times with relations of my wife who were actually friends.
1st time was a female cousin, a hard working woman in her 50s no husband and one married daughter with a husband and they both have good jobs, the cousin had a motorbike crash and was in hospital about to get an operation, when the daughter found out the cost she instructed the mother be moved (with a broken leg) to a cheaper hospital, i said to my wife just lend her the money to get it done, all good the daughter thanked us and even asked for more money for another operation for her mother, i said ok, that was well over a year ago and only 30% of what we lent has been paid back and we don't seem to be so friendly anymore.
2nd time, you might think once bitten twice shy but this time was a completely different situation although it was again a female cousin (seems to be a trend here) this woman was married to an American and flew in from the US without him to throw her family here a lifeline by starting a business for them to run , at the time we had a car to sell and she wanted to buy it, i gave her a good price and she wanted to pay it over 12 months, 1st payment no problem then the trouble starts, when asked why the second payment is missing she reveals that the purchase is between her and 6 siblings and now their turn to pay, to cut a long story short the most of the money was paid with maybe a few thousand short after lots of phone calls and unfriending on facebook.
By the way when the woman went back to US the business failed and the car was broken.
But lesson learned and no matter what the sob story the ATM is permanently closed to everyone.

 

I think in the case of the moneylender its not future loans but broken bones that are at stake.

 

The main point of my original post that maybe i did not explain too clearly was that in both of the cases in which i lent money i knew the people were perfectly able to pay it back but just chose not to.
It seems to be in the culture here not to pay back, in my opinion some of the locals look on it as a form of cleverness, its a very short sighted attitude as if you borrow then pay back you can always borrow again in the future but if you don't pay back then in my case the door is closed forever.

 

And perhaps 19% will return it over such a prolonged period that it is highly devalued by inflation. I would like to find the 1% left but it's a game of Russian roulette.

 

I do something very similar, always they go to my wife and I tell her to tell them, that at this time I have money problems because the Tax man back home has hit me with a large claim for unpaid tax, then she offers them the last P1000 out of her own Purse but on a condition they keep it quiet so that I will never find out.

This has worked out well a couple of times and on both occasions we got it back.

 

I think many of these money lenders can be quite tough - the borrowers pay up because they might want a loan again (as you say ) or are scared not to. They know we aliens are gentle folk!