Best Posts in Thread: In-Laws

I am fortunate to have a great family and extended family. So helpful in so many ways. They are the reason these have been the best 13 years of my life. Maybe I am of the minority here. I have found by giving, you get more back. Are they perfect? Am I?

 

I feel similarly with my wife's immediate family (certain extended family members excluded). They are kind, supportive and I love them. We also help out financially occasionally but it is never expected and they are very grateful when we do. In fact I feel closer to her family than I do my own.

 

I have similar experience as PatO. In-laws are mostly pretty poor - fishing etc and we help out with some regular budgeting and on celebrations etc. But - I never, ever feel that it's seen as an obligation and the regular thanks that we get are definitely sincere. E.G. - a simple New Year's celebration on the beach just yesterday. Wife said later that one family member said they were so thankful as it would not have happened if we had not organized/mostly funded, and that they thoroughly enjoyed it. It was not even that costly in the scheme of things.

I have known them all for many years. Never been conned/screwed/scammed/bad mouthed or had any wrong done to me/us by any of them. They are basically a reflection of my wife's parents and herself and they will also share what little they have and help with any little crises that we have. I trust them implicitly, but even so there have to be limits to what we are prepared to do for them financially and I believe they understand that.

I have been accepted and welcomed into their family without hesitation from them and have absolutely no regrets on that score. This may be a rare situation here, I cannot say, but I do read many cynical comments on partners' family members, so count myself as very fortunate.

There MUST be others here with similar experiences?

 

Maybe I got the wrong end of the stick - but are we criticising someone who has great pride in his family? Someone who has that pride because of the tremendous level of support from his family?

IMO it should be applauded and I don't care how many times the statement is made. If someone has good reason to be proud here of his local family or has pride in his family at home or pride in any individual, then shout it from the rooftops.

 

As already explained by Crystalhead what I wrote was in no way, shape or form aimed at Pat, and it was just a quirky reaction to Crystalhead's three (almost identical) posts.

I wholeheartedly agree that a happy family life is key to success as an expat here. Even better if that happy life includes close ties with in-laws.
In our case it's a bit of a mixed bag. There's some in-laws that we are quite close with, but sadly also a few that exhibit the dreaded crab mentality.
I made it clear from the start, 7 years ago, that while we (husband,wife,child) would be able to lead a good life here, we would definitely not be able to pull the entire extended family out of poverty.
Yes we helped where we could, as in sending money regularly so the kids (wife's nephews/nieces) could attend school, took in two of them to attend college here in Dumaguete, sent money when one sister OFW got stuck in Kuwait and wanted to go home but couldn't afford the ticket, sent money for groceries monthly to 5 brothers and sisters through the first year and a half of the pandemic (when most were struggling to make any money at all), helped with medical emergencies more than once, etc.
Sadly though, for some it is apparently never enough, and while they don't criticise me directly, my wife's relationship with some of her brothers and sisters has suffered.

 

Third wife certainly is