I feel similarly with my wife's immediate family (certain extended family members excluded). They are kind, supportive and I love them. We also help out financially occasionally but it is never expected and they are very grateful when we do. In fact I feel closer to her family than I do my own.
As already explained by Crystalhead what I wrote was in no way, shape or form aimed at Pat, and it was just a quirky reaction to Crystalhead's three (almost identical) posts. I wholeheartedly agree that a happy family life is key to success as an expat here. Even better if that happy life includes close ties with in-laws. In our case it's a bit of a mixed bag. There's some in-laws that we are quite close with, but sadly also a few that exhibit the dreaded crab mentality. I made it clear from the start, 7 years ago, that while we (husband,wife,child) would be able to lead a good life here, we would definitely not be able to pull the entire extended family out of poverty. Yes we helped where we could, as in sending money regularly so the kids (wife's nephews/nieces) could attend school, took in two of them to attend college here in Dumaguete, sent money when one sister OFW got stuck in Kuwait and wanted to go home but couldn't afford the ticket, sent money for groceries monthly to 5 brothers and sisters through the first year and a half of the pandemic (when most were struggling to make any money at all), helped with medical emergencies more than once, etc. Sadly though, for some it is apparently never enough, and while they don't criticise me directly, my wife's relationship with some of her brothers and sisters has suffered.
Its only been 25 years, but so far no bad experiences with any in-laws. Maybe the cynical ones are also repeat offenders with their life partners and families and are getting back what they have put in?
