As usual made excuses and really denying the fact that she is always talking her own Language but both the friend and our Daughter have made moves on making her see the error of her ways As they said to her it maybe OK if it does not include me but where it does she is just going to have to adjust a little. I have adjusted I feel well into her Life all I ask is to meet me 1/2 way. This is not a Rose Coloured Glasses thing, it is over many Years a Relationship & Marriage.

JP

 

You made a good point.....Lets say you take your wife to America....should she demand only Visayan be spoken in HER home

You are partners.... not master and slave.... Make the point that when ONLY Visayan is spoken....and no one translates ..... it is disrespectful and makes you an outcast in your own home..... does not make you her PARTNER..... It is ok to speak Visayan but include you in the conversation.... do not make you a "potted plant"....or decoration in your own home..... AND the bonus is they will increase their English while you also increase your Visayan.... brings the family together .....does not separate but unites....
When you demand only English....or German.....or ???? you appear paranoid....create resentment...... make it "you against them" instead of " US "

 

When in Australia we speak only English, unless my wife is on the phone to Philippines. Even among our friends in Oz, the Filipinas married to Aussies there, speak only English when we are all together. When we are in Phil, my wife speaks Visaya or Tagalog, or Ilonggo, or whatever to her friends and family there, and I do not have a problem with that at all...........I lived permanently in Phil with her for some years, and still did not worry about them all not speaking English, because most of my wife's family cannot speak English anyway...........The lady is also fluent in Spanish, and Arabic, and Malay............I just struggle along with English,...............lol..........or should I say Australian.........lol........................when in Phil, I let my wife do all the negotiations with Filipinos, and pay all the bills and handle all the problems that require communicating with Filipinos, less hassle that way, works for me. I do not have to be in control at all times..................I trust my lady, and she is very competent, and reliable.

 

Well the message has got home,

JP

 

If that is the general consensus, that there is no way to "retrain" the inhabitants of the house, then the earlier suggestion of cutting funds completely will certainly get the attention of the offending parties. Terminating the helper and rehiring a younger, English speaking person will also drive the point home, with the stipulation that there is NO language spoken by the helper but English. Since you are married, with a house, you cannot simply change partners, unfortunately, so some sort of drastic action will be necessary or the situation you do not like will certainly continue.

 

I think I have the solution to your problem

 

Maybe I'm going out on a limb here but for people interested in learning a little Visayan/Cebuano here are a couple of sites I like

Learning Visaya/Cebuano Language

Bisaya-Kong-Dako! Ikaw? Unsa Ka?

I just got here and am very slowly picking up a few words, phrases etc.

 

These on Line things are good for the Words but many of us have found it useless when trying to talk it to a local. I for one commend anyone trying to learn this local language but......................

Jack