Meeting a Good woman

Michael, as others suggested, come here, shop around, and get the flavor of what retiring here implies. Finding a wife is an art, not a science, be wise, selective, and prudent. Good luck in both.

 

thank you,i lived in mexico for about 7 years and my ex was mexicana so i have a good idea what you mean about marrying the family.i did enjoy the slow pace of life in the phills,and the people were very friendly,im looking forward to learning more.happy easter.

 

What is going on....?
I mean,...... "come to the Phils and shop around"........... "get to know what she wants from being married to you" and again ......."find one on the web".....
Are we talking about women with feelings or just objects to have a good time with?
Your heart will tell you when you met the right one, with a little common sense, tact, respect and genuine courtesy. Do not just jump in the crowd trying to impress, do not hurry and be yourself. A relationship is based on trust, give and take and respect to each other. Family members are only an issue if you want it to be.
Cheers, Marco.

 

????

UJ. Are you sure you mean this??

Jack P.

 

So cultural differences are not an issue? I've seen some mention culture to be an important factor, which is something to consider for people who haven't spent much time there. For instance, take me, I could accidentally insult her.....here is an example....in many Asian countries, you don't pat a child on the top of their head, or anyone for that matter. So, asking the question I did, should take that into consideration. Set aside the comments that are not helpful, but paying attention to the ones where people share their personal experiences on how they met that one person and made it a success. That didn't happen by itself, right? So, for people who don't have a great deal of experience with living in the Philippines, what can I learn from the folks who have that experience and care enough to share it. All that I gain is information that might help me avoid cultural pitfalls.

 

What is a GOOD woman ?
I guess we all have some specific wishes/requirements when each of us makes his "wishlist" . These lists will not (luckily) be completely the same for each of us.
Get experience by 'practicing' when still single and take your time.
With 'practicing' I do'nt mean cheating/misusing women.
Be honest if you are looking for an honest wife, be helpfull and generous if you value others to be so to you. Etc.....
An open and intensive communication is i.m.o. a focal point to get known each other on all kind of aspects (like on several of the ones on your "wishlist").
Only after quite some time you will be able to judge if the given answers/information are compatible with the reality you found out.
If it is NOT compatible, you have to decide for yourself how important that aspect is and if you can cope with a certain 'deviation'.
I e.g. did accept the fact that she had some children and a big family which was NOT on my wishlist.
It is'nt that much different in the Philippines then elsewhere in the world is what I believe.
Cultural differences are evident and already mentioned by others here.
But....one advice:
Don't "throw your clothes in a corner and go out and hit on every women walking alone..." as you did question us to be wise to do after arrival in the Philippines :D
Unless you want to attrack a special type of woman .....keep your clothes on (in public) .

 

keep my clothes on? friggin eh, that's gonna slow things way down!

 

I've got to admit that I did have probs with family members in the past, then they realized that the purse was now sealed.... they moaned a bit, now we kind of keep the distance, it may be not the ideal situation but it suits us just fine.
Alternatively, just follow Roody advice and keep an island or two away, problem solved. Family ties are very important in the Philippine society but a good and honest lady, if given a good reason, will be on your side as successful marriage is top of the list to her.
Cheers, Marco

 

I hope this doesn't change the threat too much, but there are 2 or 3 of you that have said keep a distance between you and the rest of the family, and a lot that seems to think it doesn't matter. I wonder if the people that do have a problem with your new family members borrowing, if that is cultural, or is it solely economic.....I mean, if your new wife or partner is educated with a Bachelors degree or hirer, if this is still as big an issue? I'm guessing it might just be strictly an economic issue but I was curious if people thought it was cultural or a bit of both? I'm sure a lot of you have spouses that have a degree, but maybe it is a question that should be posted elsewhere?

 

Tom
In this country even supermarket check out girls and gas pump girls have bachelor's degrees. There are so few jobs that employers can demand this. The dependent family is both an economic and cultural thing. Not many young attractive and "wealthy" girls are out there looking for foreign husbands. Their families often encourage them to seek foreigners as a source of financial security sure that the extended family thing will help them all.

I am sure that there are exceptions but this is more the case than not. I provide a house for my in-laws in Cebu, far enough away to keep them at bay.

Good Luck