Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve or taupe is? 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying , but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Have you a background in marriage counseling? If not, did you ever think you could be a "natural" at this? Seems you've summed up this male/female thing in a very funny way! When in doubt, see number 1.... hahaha V/R, nwlivewire
I'll add one. We started dating you when you were got and dressed to impress us. We continued dating you when you were hot and dressed to impress. We married you when you were hot and dressed to impress (although being pregnant is also tagged in sometimes). After marrying it is NOT a reason to stop trying to take care of your body and dressing to impress us. We aren't looking for a super model an we know everyone ages and changes somewhat but putting on 15 kilo's in less then a year and it went from dressing to impress to dressing w/o a care and not even combing your hair is NOT the deal we signed onto and in our minds makes our relationship Null and Void as you are no longer attempting to even be the person we got to know and married. Hence if we *cheat* its not cheating to us as we were the ones cheated having a product swap on us after final purchase. We are Men, we don't know *pretty* and *cute*.... we know *hot* and *sexy*. Hot and sexy is what WE think it is when it comes to the opposite sex and what they wear.... NOT what YOU think it is or what the TV says it is. What is Pretty and Cute is what falls in the *her* realm. Don't mix these up. Don't ask us about kids or wanting kids. We will rarely be honest about this because its a trap question 99% of the time. If we answer we aren't ready or not interested we know we will be camping out on the couch for an extended period while you *re-think* the direction of the relationship. As far as men go we very rarely want kids or are ready for kids until they happen to smile in our arms the first time. So don't bother on this, waste of your time and ours.
I will take a stab at it. 15 minutes is not late. 15-30 minutes you need to text and tell me when you will be there so I can decide if I want to wait or not. 30 minutes-1 hour or more you need a note from your Mom. More than 1.5 hours you need a doctors note. Who am I trying to kid? It won't get to an hour before I decide to do something else.
