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questions asked of our wives

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Forum' started by oztony, Jul 15, 2014.

  1. denpet

    denpet DI Senior Member Highly Rated Poster Blood Donor Veteran Air Force

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    Kids are getting too smart though. The other day they asked me;
    Kid: "Dad, are you drunk?"
    Me: "No!"
    Kid: "Dad, then drink more!"
    Of course I got curious, so 20 min later when they asked again, I had to say yes (well, might be it was the truth too);
    Kid: "Dad, are you drunk now?"
    Me: "Yes!"
    Kid: "Good, can you download Minecraft on my phone for me? It's only xxx money and need a credit card."
    Me, being smart: "Yes, but I'm drunk, so I can't do i now. I do it tomorrow"
    10 min later
    Kid, presenting a paper: "Dad, sign this contract that say you should install Minecraft, or you will have forgotten it when you sober up!"
    :D
     
  2. Brian Oinks

    Brian Oinks That's Mr. Pig to you Boy! :) Highly Rated Poster

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    PMSL Denpet that is a crack up! I remember similar experiences with my kids when I use to drink... :D hehehe

    With utmost respect Wrye that you speak American, I often take delight in *pulling the p*ss (*pulling their leg or rattling their cage so to speak) out of Americans online who criticise the spelling of English words when they try and educate people on "learning English first before posting on an English thread," as words like; realise, criticise, licence, learnt, honour and so on are incorrect, yet; they are "Correct English," just not US English...

    I tell them to brush up their own History before correcting others, as they were first settled by the British, where they leant how to speak and write in English, before bastardising it to suit themselves, so do not enforce their incorrect English upon the rest of us.

    It is often met with some fierce replies from those who were doing the educating several minutes earlier, but I do it tongue in cheek knowing that English itself has more than one example out there that is used depending on the Country... ^_^ hehe

    I experience the same from my dear Wife when attempting to lean Visayan, I often try and research the offending word then try to pronounce (may I add dismally) it using the way we were taught to pronounce English spoken words, with her and the family often in fits of laughter at my attempts, however when they totally muff up an English word, I try to ignore them, unless specifically requested to correct them so that they may learn English, otherwise it appears I am mocking them should I attempt to correct them. :/

    But I love to listen to my Wife speak English, a source of enjoyment that keeps me constantly amused and smiling, despite how many times she corrects me then gets all fluffed up if I attempt to educate her, God Bless her... ^_^ hehe
     
  3. robgie

    robgie DI Member

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    aHHH This one I cant pass up, just to easy.... As I had told my brother in law from the UK when he started the "we" started the english dialect. So, we know the proper spelling and pronunciations. I Had to remind my friend, brother in law, But it took the Americans to perfect the english language. hahahah just humour, humor . Dont take it to serious. I dont
     
  4. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    Simple Question??

    :confused: Honey! I said. I need some load on TM, I did a lot of texting last night. (she loads from a friend in the office,)

    Ah OK, was the reply. Now, please don't forget because I'm OUT! OK! OK! I heard but send me a Text, to Remind me!!!O-| OH! come on, this is worth a smile or two :rolleyes::D:D

    BUT don't we just, LUV EM?


    Morning All. JP :p
     
  5. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    Who would be without, them??

    Like the "Where is the Humour on here' and "Quotes" I think this little gem, will stay with us, for a very long time.
    Each and Every day, I think all of us, with a Little lady at home, will have something to smile at and tell all here.

    It is not a matter of How Good or Bad their English is at all, it is more about the way our loved ones think, The comments they make are (To me anyway) part and parcel of who they are.

    I don't know about others but my Wife [and daughter for that matter] just seem to say it as it is. never with malice or anything sinister, but the looks they give that says "what did I say wrong" of course, they sometimes don't understand, that those smiles and Laughs we break into, are not at them but with them

    What a difference, they can make, to our day! :D Every day

    Just my thoughts and Opinions but!................:D somedays I could cry. I laugh so much!:wink:



    JP :rolleyes:
     
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  6. OP
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    oztony

    oztony DI Senior Member Blood Donor

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    Well a couple of days ago , watching the news about the current problems in Gaza ,
    a still shot come on the screen of some rockets being fired ,
    not a cloud in the sky , clear blue except the fuel trail of the rockets ,
    my wife commented is that lightening , I replied yes, man made , her reply was then ,
    can man make lightening , me no reply
     
  7. Brian Oinks

    Brian Oinks That's Mr. Pig to you Boy! :) Highly Rated Poster

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    LOL Robgie Touche`O--O



    How very true JP God Bless them :D


    Show her this lil Gem Tony :wink: hehe
    House of The Rising Sun - Musical Tesla Coils - YouTube
     
  8. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    Funny, how one thing, leads to another! (settle down, it's not sexual!)

    I just made a comment to a post, using a phrase, we in the UK, use a lot. My wife, was looking over my Shoulder.

    She said (my wife, that is) I know, you clean Brass Honey but Where, do Brass, Monkeys come from??

    What I said to 'Dave_H' was " in IRAQ, Night time was, Brass Monkey Weather." Do any others here, use the same, Terminology? Navy Men, I guess, will :confused:


    JP
     
  9. OP
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    oztony

    oztony DI Senior Member Blood Donor

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    Most certainly my friend , freeze the balls off a brass monkey, but now that you have re-emerged this thread, my wife offered to pry some fish for dinner , I wonder if they are just difficult to get at :rolleyes:
     
  10. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    AH! Those little ladies words, of Retaliation! Remember them well lads.They are used

    We often Hear them but never, Heed them :rolleyes: maybe we should?? View attachment 11320


    JP
     

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