Stranded Foreigners?

Just read the Facebook posting. Obviously the beggars have taken to the internet. This guy wants money to buy a plane ticket so he can come back to Philippines and do the same thing? Obviously he still won't have any money to live on when he gets here.

 

Wrye;
I actually liked Malmoman's Post (or is that Edited Post not having read the pre-edited version?)
He hits it bang on the head for me, the Guys I speak to here who have been to the Philippines have gone for all the wrong reasons and I do NOT like their stories of what they got up to there... I know quite a few Guys here who are married to Filipina and so far only one has set off my radar.

Malmoman;
I do not drink, will never go to a bar, do not gamble, will never attend pool halls or the likes, will live as Filipino live in the barangay, not in some gated community, will attempt my best to learn Visayan and Tagalog where I hope I will be able to hold a conversation, have planned everything regards a permanent Monthly income and will also take out Medical Insurance for my Family etc... No Flash Car, no Flash Clothes, Shoes or Jewelry etc Thankfully asawa is very frugal and refuses to waste money on clothes or shoes she cannot wear everyday and who is happy for me to live in their Nipa Hut instead of renting a fancy house. I have been with three women in my life, each I have eventually married, the first two were far from faithful, hopefully I have done my homework this time around...


Tunji:
I have been stung and learnt my lesson, albeit after several hurtful stings, it caused me to be super wary and take my time, which turned out to be around 5+ years of talking online to my now Wife BEFORE I went there to meet her.

One previous GF; So young sweet and naive... Or so I thought... Soon I funded her to move to Manila, to rent a Studio apartment, I was paying fr her Electricity, Water, Food on top of the 4,000 pesos Support I sent to her each Two Weeks... I tried to get her to "Budget" but for a while there I thought that was a word that never existed in their vocabulary... She eats out each and every night, she wears Fashion Dresses and outfits supposedly bought from Ukay... I flew her Home for special occasions, soon I discovered I was also supporting her two Sisters in High School as well as her Brother in College whilst also paying for her to attend College doing a Care Giver's Course! A SIX month Course, that after 2 1/2 Years she still did not obtain her Certificate which I paid for to Fast track at least Four times!

I tried helping her to start a Business to help me to help her. First was when I sent her money and her Mother beat her and took it from her to start the Family Business, $200.00 AUD worth of Rice. I explained how you broke it up, resold for profit, take profit, reinvest, keep doing so until there was enough Rice to sell each week and the excess in profit went to helping them to buy food as well they could afford to eat some of that Rice. All understood; systems go!
WRONG! After they sold the Rice and spent the money on Bills, her Mother demanded she get another $200 from me to keep 'their business' going, in my mind that business was called "Scam Central"...

Then I discovered her photos on one of her cousins FB Pages, she had met an american guy whilst we were engaged, so I DUMPED HER! Her cousin phoned me and snapped her SIM Card so the guy could no longer contact her yada yada yada... Right! She continued 'Testing me' by getting her friends to message me trying to see if I was single and available, I do not play sill flirt games when I am with someone, so was blunt with them, she was happy I was devoted to her, I had passed 'her test'. Then I got to thinking... So I tested her, I made up an email address which was 99% identical to her 'ex' then I messaged her... ARGGHH!! FAILED! Then somehow it all got flipped onto me as being the bad guy??? Then; her Father fell ill and died. I know this was true, but I took the time to study her behaviour.

It took me 6 months to get her out of the clutches of her mother (who was blackmailing me for more More MORE MONEY) in the province back to Manila, where her attitude did not improve any, she told me when her Papa died a part of her died also, hmmm... Okay I could understand that... But one night I was so tired, so fed up, I looked up and asked the Big Guy upstairs; "If there is anything, please give me a sign"... In a daze I typed in "Philippines Dating" into Google, I saw a link for a Dating Site I had only ever gone to and typed into the search feature when seeking before, but here was the site with Philippines at the end of the address, I clicked onto the link, I looked at the first row of girls, looked left to right, looked down to scan back to the left when lo and behold! There was her picture at the end of the 3rd row! I opened it, read everything she had thrown to me as bait, single virgin since birth, boyfriend free since birth "yes it's true teehee" she wrote...

For 3 days I danced around her, watching her on the Dating Site, being fed excuses as to why she could not speak to me whilst she was busy Fishing for new Suckers, the 3rd night I sent her the link to her profile on the Dating Site, "Oi? What is this"? I told her to open it... Next thing I got was "You b@st@rd guy you do not trust me! F**k you! Why you not trust me huh?? You do not know why I do this! I only do it so when a guy says he loves me I block him to hurt his heart". Like an Atomic Bomb my world imploded... IDIOT! SCAMMED! FOOL! A million other gut wrenching emotions scrambled my brain! Then; she blocked me, left right and centre, I was blocked, until around 6 weeks later she came begging for Rice because her family had abandoned her, and guess what this IDIOT did?

Then again; I watched her posting pictures, eating at Restaurants, Fashion Clothes, new iPhone, then a trip to Thailand, then China, then Malaysia, by this time I was the one making excuses as to why I could no longer send... I just wish I was strong enough not to believe their pitiful lies mate, I could have been living there close to 10 years ago! My last Wife once told me; "A Cheetah cannot change its spots, it is what it is, and a Cheater is the same, they cannot change either"... She turned out to be the latter and had spoken cryptic, but very wise words to me which I carry with me always... If they think you are stupid enough to believe their lies the first time, they WILL try it on you a second time, leading to;
"Fool me once, Shame on you! But; Fool me twice, Shame on me!"

 

I have no hope for any sort of good sense to prevail in this situation. But of course, I'm not an expert on the issues of immigration either.

It seems to me that in dealing with stranded foreigners, you should be doing everything possible to help them to get home. The Philippines should be offering any non monetary support they could offer.

* Post the exact process and penalties for overstays who turn themselves in. Without this information, there is only fear, uncertainty and doubt.

* Possibly make counselors available to advise overstays with a promise of anonymity.

* Allow foreigners to leave without paying penalties and then require that they pay the penalties before being allowed back into the country. If someone is being fined $100 or more per month, then it's entirely possible that the person could at one point to be doing well enough to leave, but not to pay large overstay fees.

* Allow foreigners to walk free as overstays as long as they follow certain procedures. For example, you go to the immigration office on the same schedule as foreigners who aren't overstays even if you can't afford to extend the visa. You get the penalty, maybe you get assigned to someone to help you figure out a solution, but you are compliant to the laws as a special immigration case.

Of course, this would require resources that the country doesn't have. Just as with the drug war in the U.S. - the laws will likely stay crazy and not provide a solution.

Maybe some of these things are possible, but the immigration laws aren't very clear. Just reading through the forum, you can see that many foreigners are confused or not informed on just about every change. There should be a far reaching and highly accessible campaign to spread information for immigration changes. I receive emails, offers to talk on the phone, FAQ's, documentation, forums, email / phone support and a ton of other ways to interact with U.S. private services I consume. Why can't I do the same with Philippines immigration?

Again, the U.S. screws this up with taxes, so I can't blame the Philippines for not being accessible on immigration law.

Right now I think most stranded overstays feel like fugitives on the run. No f*cking way are they going to turn themselves in just to get locked up. That may not be what happens, but I could see them thinking this way.

Side Note:

Wrye, I think you are placing too much focus on the trolls. It takes the thread off-topic. Just ban, possibly delete and post a canned response.

 

The only lady i was with when i was in philippines was good to me and i stuck to my own rule, never send her more than i would as a gift with no attachments.. It is funny though to see her asking for more money to get a passport she promised to get twice before while i had sent here three installments adding up to $500.. She got the cell phone she said she wanted along with the passport, but no passport... My rule keeps me cautious about sending any more or spending to go visit her and get strung along deeper to the tune of her wanting money, i need the money for any lady willing to be with me and make an effort to be with me even if i have to help her in that effort...

 

Tunji;
I think finding love is akin to gambling, the investment often will not pay off unless you understand the game, and then throw in a wild card or two and the best laid plans go to hell...

I have a friend who is going thru something similar, I have offered to go halves with him to have her investigated by a well known guy who I think is now living back in Dumaguete, I would like him to skip over to Cebu and pay her a visit to check if she is for real or not. Facebook, very limited information and has not been updated in around 4 years, she talks on Yahoo, comes online maybe once a fortnight despite owning a laptop, her house (squat) was flattened in the Typhoon and even I helped her to buy materials to rebuild, but she will only text him if he has not sent her any texts for a few days, then she always states he is not texting her because he has someone else, I know he doesn't for a fact and even I agree with him that she COULD make more of an effort, but she claims she is learning Korean so she can go abroad to work, save, then come here to him as he is Disabled in a Wheelchair on Disability, but is as sharp as a tack, except like many of us, in this case.

When or where do you draw the line? When you are in the Web and the Spider keeps playing the same fiddle of 'Oh woe is me' emotions get in the way of smart thinking... I have been played before by other women, mainly those who have used their children as a way to gaining money via sympathy, when I have found out I have simply blocked them, I have no more time for liars...

You stated;
i need the money for any lady willing to be with me and make an effort to be with me even if i have to help her in that effort...

I think this is where a lot of guys come unstuck, a relationship should not be akin to a business proposition. (I apologise if I have read into that incorrectly)
When I began seeking and was asked how long before I come to visit them and how long before they can come here, I took a quick step back and told each; "It will take as long as it takes, if it is one year, two years, five, ten, I am not buying a car! I am seeking love, who knows how long that will take, so there is no time limit."
It amazed me how many straight out said they could not wait that long and did not want to waste their time if I could give them a straight answer, I mean; 'How long does it take to fall in love'? How long is a piece of string?

I think the worst thing I did when I chose #01 was starting to support her, she did fine before I came along, and I feel in a way it was my own fault it turned out to be such a strain on my finances in the end because where I thought I was taking responsibility, I was preening her into becoming a Prima Donna who became accustomed to the money instead of seeking love, so although it might seem like the right thing to do by supporting them, I think there needs to be a line drawn that should not be crossed, a little like going to the Casino, if you plan to spend $1,000 then do not pack another 3K in your back pocket for we all know how the night will end...

 

Love and money often intertwine in ways that choke one or the other off.. But living a life with or without someone requires money unless i end up off the grid and out of the economic c system of the world.. I know its possible to end up with a lady who has her own money and no need for mine, i have experience with a girl friend like that, but most others need some one who at least chips in a fair share and thats where i stand... Thats why i would rather have my money ready for someone by my side supporting me in whatever way she can... What if that lady appears tomorrow and when she needs me to chip in for her to cook for us or a nice place to stay or travel expense to see the world? Will i be having to tell a truth like " UH, i have my money going out to someone who doesnt have time for me or effort to put towards being with me".... Maybe some people are that rich but i have enough for me and one other and still give some support to my son in college 2nd year now the big man .. After that, i would be stretched to support any more..Maybe one day my rental tenants may have a malfunction in the place they rent from me and i would need to come up with repairs and obliged to do it for people paying into my investment..... Yeah, have to prioritize, not overflowing with money enough to do any serious cashh payment charity even in cheap places like philippines... I put up 500 bucks which i would have given even if she said no but can i send her some money for a last gift.. If i end up wanting to go to Thailand early next year, i wouldn't be too stretched to stop and visit in Philippines and visit her if she likes.. Maybe shes not scamming me but just trying to get what money she can and will be willing to come with me if i show up and pay her passport and get her out of house slavery with only sundays as free days and not the right day to go get a passport anyway.... If all else fails, the trip to Philippines will be worth at least getting me another 30 days in Thailand on return there to enjoy the food and more... I have known this girl since my first year in philippines in 2010... and we were together in late 2011 or was it 2012?... So we have years and personal experience together and between us... Just not making sense of why she is choosing g to stay in Manila with so many problems and no money while slaving away under contract as a house helper for very little money when i am willing to pay much more into a future she says she is very interested in?? Maybe young, inexperienced and
thereby no base from which to know responsible ways of going about these plans..l She wont get arrested for breaking her contract and they dont pay her enough to overwhelm me if i compensated them for loosing her.... I will say this, if she is doing it out of sheer honor for her promise and appreciation for her boss, then shes a girl worth having by my side and that would be an opportunity worth my stopping in philppines to look into ..... But oh god i feel its a punishment and undue hardship for me to endure another trip to philippines and don't know why she has to punish me like that.. She knows i was always sick there and dread going back..

 

My Wife wanted to go and work in Manila as a Maid, I asked her not to do it and offered to pay to support her instead of going. She wanted to contribute and not be a burden to me while I was saving to go there, so one day I asked her to sit down and tell our Daughter about her plans to leave anak behind to find work as a Maid, so she did... After the reaction I expected, as anak is very very close to her Mama, my Wife broke down and conceded it would be detrimental to our Daughter for her to go. She had two options, I was offering her a way out so that she could be by our Daughter's side full time, she was being a hard nose proud Filipino stubborn the end so as not be a burden to me...

Maybe that is your Girl also? Hard nose stubborn trying to save from being a burden to you?

I know others who are the same and they leave their children behind with their Mothers or their Husbands so that they can earn a pittance in Manila, honestly for a Westerner, it is not worth the bother, but Filipino do not have the good fortune Westerner's have regards options, so they will take the only option that seems to be viable, often to find there are 100 standing in line to take their job should they refuse it, so they take what is their only real option.

Do you talk daily to your Girl? Are you able to get her to openly discuss feelings, thoughts, ideas? Try to talk to her to get into her head to try and understand why she is doing what she is doing.

My Wife, like my other friends (Filipino and Australian) have suffered the time being apart and just wanting me (and their respective other halves) to go back to see them, doing so would have ruined me financially as I was waiting for my approval to go, had I gone I would not have been able to return for another year or more while I saved for the Airfare again, so I said 'no' and told her why. She did understand, but still wanted me there by her side, and I admit it has been hard for me also, but I only have so much and I need to stick to my plan due to the lack of finances.

Often emotions over rule common sense. It is hard to keep things on track.

Why were you sick while you were in the Philippines if you do not mind me asking?