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Best Posts in Thread: watch out

  1. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

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    If you must get married just do it in the church and don't register it with the government....problem solved. :wink:

    I would never marry someone that felt that not getting married was a deal breaker. Something fishy about that to me. I fell for it once, never again!
     
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  2. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

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    My gf's brother has been going on and on about a new cousin they have come into contact with in Dumaguete. It seems this cousin is married to an American who served in the military (long ago judging from the pictures I have been shown) and for some reason I should be mystified and/or extremely interested in this young lady and her husband. I guess....not sure why he keeps talking about this couple and showing me pictures of people I have never met before in my life. I've been trying to blow it off and not show the slightest bit of interest in the cousin or the expat.

    However, today I was informed that I am invited to dinner this afternoon by this couple through my gf's brother (and confirmed by my gf). I have absolutely no interest in going to someone's house, expat or not, who did not personally invite me. At first I asked my gf "what do they want from me? And why are they so interested in spending time with you, your brother and me?" as I find the entire situation very "convenient" (why did this "cousin" all of a sudden show up out of nowhere, that nobody knew was related to the gf's family in the first place, and take such an interest to the gf's brother, my gf.....and now has an interest in meeting me? :cautious:). I've been trying to come up with a reason other than "I don't want to" all day. Your post just gave me that reason. It might not be that they have bad motives...but the guy just doesn't really know about it or really want me to come either since the invitation was not extended directly to me by the people supposedly hosting dinner. And personally I feel much more comfortable meeting people for the first time on neutral ground somewhere public mainly because I feel awkward in these types of situations and alcohol helps me deal with that discomfort.
     
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  3. DaveD

    DaveD DI Senior Member Showcase Reviewer Veteran Navy

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    Actually that is one lesson every foreigner here should learn ASAP that it is the Foreigners who will take you for all they can get including your life savings if you are not careful. The average Filipino is usually only looking to make a couple of extra piso at a silly long nose expense. I can live with that as I usually give a wink and smirk and play the game no problem. But, the foreign con men/women are a different story altogether. They will pretend to be your friend and when your guard is down will try to clean you out. Don't think just because they speak your native language and look like you they can be trusted. Trust must be earned. I have seen many foreigners really hurt by other foreign con men/women here. Be alert and use better judgement please!
     
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  4. Cerne

    Cerne DI Forum Adept

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    Had a long think about this one before replying...thought about sharing my own experiences vs taking a more analytical approach. Lol, gonna do both!

    In my very humble opinion filipinas tend to be born insecure, add to that their menfolk abandoning them when the going gets tough, is it any wonder that the goose that lays is jealously guarded? Its our problem too when we do the law of diminishing returns thing.....re-assurance. "No baby, I ain't ever gonna leave ya, just you call me anytime. No way honey, nothing on two legs no matter how sweet the smile is gonna tempt me, you just call me anytime". We don't give our spouses the chance of finding out that life can be cool and ok without the re-assure bit. It just increases their anxiety. In a similar fashion checking up on your whereabouts just increases the doubt and insecurity - and lots of us just let them do it.

    When Mrs C and I first started I had to work hard at this. She us a product of her environment. Life is hard, she saw men bail out and run. Indeed, her own sis was left managing 3 very young kids whilst her brother in law p.issed off to where the grass was greener and just cut off his kids. No wonder she got anxious when this white male started strutting up and down her baranguay! Initial attempts to control, to seek re-assurance, and to check where met with steadfast implacability ie "you do this and I walk. I am not putting up with it. If you can not trust me then we do not have a relationship." 12 years later she is a lot less anxious, more relaxed and ok with my movements. Working in the Gulf has also forced this issue.

    Readers may remember my post about the above sister. I tracked the guy down and brought him to Court. Result, C doesn't shoulder the whole family's burdens financially. I thought it would be useful to give an update. For amusement purposes.....

    The guy that deserted my sister in law recently suffered a stroke. Immediately he is back to Court wanting a suspension of the previous order to support my sister in law. I am on his bottom in double time, private eye, my appointed docs, the whole works. Yep, he had a stroke for sure, but get this...he is paying P30k per week for rehabilitation physio whilst travelling between one province and Manila. Plus Hotels! He also is receiving sick pay from his employer at 80% of salary. He hasn't paid a penny to his kids since November 15. With all the evidence...medical, financial and the private eye (hey the guy really doesn't want me to let his current squeeze know what he gets up to when in Manila for rehab physio...but that's a different issue) ....the court threw his petition out. The peso tap is once more turned on. This time the guy knows if he tries it on he is bound for jail. So I guess I am saying that I do have confidence in the court system....shame most folk can't afford it.

    All the best,

    C
     
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  5. DaveD

    DaveD DI Senior Member Showcase Reviewer Veteran Navy

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    I agree. There are many, many good people here IMO many more good than bad by a very large margin. For some reason though it seems a fair number of foreigners marry for all the wrong reasons (bar girls, freelancers etc. the list is endless) and then end up paying a heavy price. As with anything anywhere in the world look before you leap! Do your homework etc... Many gems here if one is willing to look hard enough and work hard enough to win their hearts. Most Filipino's believe in lifelong relationships/marriage. If you want a keeper you need to earn their respect and love just like you would anywhere. I would recommend courting them for at least 1-2 years before you even consider marriage or a lifelong commitment. Just saying :whistling:
     
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  6. KINGCOLE

    KINGCOLE DI Senior Member Highly Rated Poster

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    When we and my wife go to someones house as a guest or for a party, we always take some wine and a dessert, even though we know that it is not expected, as this is the tradition in the UK. I often see people, expats usually, turn up for a party empty handed. I don't judge them, as there may be a valid reason, but have second thoughts when I see how eager they are to eat and drink whatever is provided by the host. So it is not because someone is a filipino or an expat that they act like this, it is their nature, regardless of nationality.
     
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    Last edited: Feb 28, 2016
  7. nwlivewire

    nwlivewire DI Senior Member Showcase Reviewer Blood Donor Veteran Army Navy

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    Interesting point you make about a few expats. I suspect some folks are like that no matter where they are hanging their hat....

    V/R,
    nwlivewire
     
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  8. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    :singing: I wouldn't worry too much, there are not enough jails to accommodates the 30+ mil Local/Filipino men that do this Daily/Weekly/ Always.
    Just another little fad of the Little lady to hide her self behind.
    In Dumaguete they can't enforce the helmet law so I would never hold my Breath on this one and in any case Counter Sue, she stole MY money. :thumbsup:
     
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  9. Crystalhead

    Crystalhead DI Senior Member ★★ Forum Sponsor ★★ ★ No Ads ★ Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Army

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    Clearly don't Marry until after a year or 2 in time of understanding her and her Family well.... and carry out certain due diligence!
     
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  10. Crystalhead

    Crystalhead DI Senior Member ★★ Forum Sponsor ★★ ★ No Ads ★ Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Army

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    Guess I am one of the lucky one's. Even if I gave my wife all my life's savings she will cherish our vows till death do we part and I am 100% confident that
    will be well into old age. Please don't sell the Filipina's short..... there are some great Ladies whom can make this commitment and make you a happy Man. I feel
    compelled to say I would not ever Marry again and if I ever did she would be a Filipina!
     
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