Best Posts in Thread: watch out

Have them take the spouse to the barangay and get this documented as she is psychologically torturing them. End of problem.

 

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I am friends with a range of expats from all over the world. One trait that really surprised me is the number of expats who are literally hostages of their wife.

I know 3 expats who are in this situation and all of them are married, 2 live with their wives and 1 lives a few miles away from his wife.

Their wife controls every aspect of their live, including when they can leave the house, where they are allowed to go and who they can go with. When they are allowed out, they receive constant calls from their wife to obtain an update on their whereabouts. One of them even has to have a tracking app on their phone so their wife can keep constant track of where they are.

I first discovered this when a friend of mine was with one of our expat friends and he was driving around looking for a 711 that had a charging station. After about 20 minutes and visiting two 711 shops, both of which did not have a working charging station, he started freaking out. He finally explained that if his phone battery dies and his wife calls, he will be in serious trouble.

I have asked these people why they don’t just leave and the response is rather harrowing: “If I leave, she will either have me jailed or killed”.

Their explanation was that if they leave, their wife will prosecute using the seemingly much abused Republic Act 9262, particularly the section which states:

3.a) “Violence against women and their children” refers to any act or a series of acts committed by any person against a woman…” “which result in or is likely to result in…” “economic abuse”.

It is that “economic abuse” section which causes so many issues, as it is rather loosely defined as:
“Economic abuse refers to acts that make or attempt to make a woman financially dependent which includes, but is not limited to the following:
1) Withdrawal of financial support
2) Deprivation or threat of deprivation of financial resources”

 

Neither did I. I usually ask the woman if there is anything I can bring or at least what will be served so I can bring something that compliments the Hosts offerings. If they really don't want me to bring anything and I know the spouse I then usually pick up a little something for them. (SO/Wife/GF)

 

5 Courtship Rules Modern Dating Could Use (Yes, Really) | YourTango or more accurate IMO from Courting - definition of courting by The Free Dictionary
As in:
Idiom: pay court to - 2. To seek someone's love; woo.

v. court·ed, court·ing, courts
v.tr. - 2. To try to gain the love or affections of, especially to seek to marry.

I agree! Love (IMHO add a little romance) and security go a long way towards making a happy relationship!

DaveD

 

I was working on the oil rigs near Alice Texas one time and living in a mobile home. A tex-mex neighbor stopped by and asked if he could borrow $2. A few days later he paid me back and invited me to his home across the street. He lived in a shack with dirt floors. He had a pit dug in his back yard and grill over it. He was grilling chicken that night. He passed me some tequila in an old jar. I happily drank it. He was a good man and he introduced me to allot of Tex-Mex bars in the area. It is often not what you have but who you are that really counts.

 

I can't imagine any man telling me where and when I can go out, either. ....

If I were married and my husband threatened me I would find a way to leave him high and dry, too.

"It's More Fun In The Philippines"???

Hmmmm....as the world turns....

nwlivewire

 

Some fellows (females, too) don't need a "mate" - they need use of a "keeper" (a Banker, a domestic house and yard keeper, a laundry service, a mechanic, etc).

Some fellows (females, too) don't need use of a "keeper" - they need a "mate". There can be a big difference between these two.

IMHO, those that do desire of a "mate" will IDEALLY find one another, and be mutually desirous and enable each other to make and create the relational time and the relational space for their "dance" to develop, season, and mature.

Sometimes you can't get all these attributes and skills all rolled into one person. That's not realistic - that's fantasy land thinking.

Just saying, having a realistic understanding of one's self and what one really needs and desires is first and foremost.

The rest will follow if those cards are in your deck and you're willing to play.

nwlivewire

 

I cannot imagine any woman telling me where and when I can go out. I cannot live that way. Even if they reported me. For example, let's say you sponsor someone for school. If you come into hard times or you want to stop that sponsorship can you be held accountable. I don't think so! If I were married and my wife threatened me I would find a way to leave her high and dry.

 

You never know. Some guys need a keeper. I had a friend I knew from the US who settled in Bacong after my telling him about Dumaguete in 2012. I cautioned him that expenses could be reasonable but you still have to watch your money. He sold up and moved, had about 3 million php in the bank plus $1240 a month in SS. He went through all of it in 20 months. I had been in Manila for 2 days and he calls me asking if I could wire him $200 so he could make it through the end of the month. I came to see him a week later at the house he rented. He had nice furniture, a bigscreen tv, nice appliances, a trash car which I repaired for him. I didn't have a place to stay so I paid his rent/utilities for the month and stayed in his spare bedroom. He was big balling, wrongly thinking that his money couldn't run out. $1,240 is plenty for him, his wife and adopted daughter to live on but I suggested that his wife handle the money and give him an allowance. She refused, saying that he was the man. I tried to show him how to be frugal but it just wasn't going to take so all I could do was leave because I don't like seeing train wrecks. Some men need a keeper.