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EU Commission directive :English as the language of the EU rather tha German

The European Commission

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.
By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU!







...and ve al be speking german:D
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Rusty Humphries: Sneakin’ In To The USA - SafeShare.TV

 

Before my last trip, I had made plans to plant a mango tree on our property, which is between Duma and Sibulan. Shortly before the trip, I was watching an interesting show about Malala, the wonderful young lady who was shot in the face by the Taliban for going to school and being outspoken on the subject. I learned that, just before she was shot, she had planted a mango tree in her yard. I decided to plant mine in her honor and name it for her. Being a former sign painter, I found the tools and supplies, around Duma, and made a sign with her name on it. Some distant relatives, whom I have not met, were using our property, without permission, to keep their goats, which was not a problem except that we had to put a fence around the tree. We planted the tree and put up my sign. A temporary fence was made until a real one could be made, but the goats got through and did some damage, fortunately not fatal. After leaving, I got word that the relatives were angry. So, how was I to know that, in Visayan, Malala means poison? I quickly got word to them the meaning of my sign, and all is well.