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Where's the humor on here?

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff' started by grandpainak, Apr 16, 2007.

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  1. Dave & Imp

    Dave & Imp DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

    A woman said to his husband one day, 'I don't know how you can be

    So stupid and so handsome all at the same time.

    'The husband responded, 'Allow me to explain.

    God made me handsome so you would be attracted to me;

    God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !

    or the politically correct alternative:

    A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be

    So stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

    'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.

    God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

    God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Dave & Imp

    Dave & Imp DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

    A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

    30,000 to a man's 15,000.

    The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to
    Repeat everything to men....

    The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  3. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

    IN 1928 the kiwi,s invented the condom using the intestine a sheep in 1940 australia refinded it by taking it out of the sheep
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Pompolino

    Pompolino DI Member Showcase Reviewer

    Husband is drinking his wine at dinner and says " I love you " wife says " is that the wine talking?" Husband replies " I'm talking to the wine."
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Like Like x 2
  5. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Admin Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Like Like x 2
  6. Dave & Imp

    Dave & Imp DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

    Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  7. Dave & Imp

    Dave & Imp DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

    Plan your lies or take safer airplane... just do not get "stuck" like this guy. lol DI funny - can not go home.jpg
    [DOUBLEPOST=1422549021,1422548875][/DOUBLEPOST]I have great friends on the forum... I might even take a bullet for some of you (or shoot others) but please...... even in the leg with the medical facilities here it could be deadly di - taking a bullet for you.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  8. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Admin Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

  9. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Admin Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

    I don't know why this is funny but.....
    [​IMG]

    :hilarious:
     
  10. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Admin Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

    Some clever and creative ways of looking at everyday objects. Images from Imgur.

    Quite a few of them so put them in a spoiler box.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    The hieroglyphics cracked me up.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    You might only get this if you are American:

    [​IMG]
     
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