There is a Filipino term “pasangil”(Cebuano) “kunwari”(Tagalog) and I don’t agree it falls under the word tiptoeing in English. The behavior is only based on Filipinos because I don’t have close friends from other countries except the Japanese who typically tiptoe on sensitive topics but I’m quite certain they don’t do this childish thing. For example, Filipinos (yes, guys do it too) will send a reply to your pm saying “how are you”. Sometimes I wait for some more, a thing or two that is related to what I said or some typical response like I hear you, I’m sorry to hear that or a smiley but it seems like my message evaporated overnight. So I check facebook and all of a sudden it’s another Déjà vu... “how are you” is just a nudge meaning, “I have good news, check my post and I hope you hit like.” My current mood forces me to think that childish is too nice a term for this behavior.
Do I understand you use the term "how are you" when you are fishing for compliments? When I say "how are you" it is just another way of saying hello. I really DON'T want to hear about the person's latest toothache or bowel movement even though I asked "how are you" The only correct responses that seem to work are: "I'm fine, thanks for asking" Or "I'm great, how are you" Or "Could be better but nothing to worry about."
I’m talking about mutual talk of two parties’ respective diarrhea. Very close relationship. Bottom line is if the feeling isn’t mutual then end it but it’s easier said than done when you’ve known them for a very long time
I agree as I used to often make that mistake! When someone asked me how I am, I foolishly assumed they wanted to know - but really people have so many problems of their own they don't want to hear about other people's. Most people exist in a 'bubble' and only want what is in their 'bubble' - except when they f*rt and then they want everyone to share it.
It happens in the West too. Try talking in a public place or to family about sex in America and watch everyone squirm. You will also get the same reaction in most places when it comes to politics or religion. Americans typically avoid talking about politics unless they know they are around people that agree with their views....or if they are on the internet (where there is little social repercussion or personal judgement to being a complete asshat). However, it is more common for Asians to avoid confrontation. As far as a word for it....my vocabulary isn't all that great but I would say an adjective could be any of the following: affable amiable acquiescent I think what you describe is just them being timorous. It shouldn't be all that surprising once you realize that ego and pride are such important parts of their culture....and when damaging them can have such severe repercussions to one's livelihood. Why risk life, limb or eyesight over things that really don't matter? If Christianity couldn't weed out those, subjectively, negative traits (because their holy book does tell them that pride is a deadly sin) in the Philippines, then it is very likely that nothing will be able to take that out of them or other Asians.
I think what I’m desperately not trying to say is they are too full of themselves they don’t listen. My reply to the first comment displays this type-focusing on my story instead of a direct answer to his question. As to your suggested vocabulary, I would be able to say I understand them completely when I can use those myself in talking and I haven’t even used those words when I write but their meanings suggest a positive connotation.
Here’s another example. Your friend just bought a new a thing for the house which he/she knows you have been dreaming of having. Instead of telling you the news, he/she thinks of a reason for you to come, not considering a possibility that you might have more important things to do. The act to do a “pasangil” because just telling you the news doesn’t give him/her the self satisfaction he/she wants.
That sounds significantly like a quiet boast. Things like inviting you to drop by for a visit so you will notice the new car in the driveway, whereas many of us would just say "I'm so happy I finally got that new car we have been wanting" and that's the end of it. Is that close to what you mean?