Best Posts in Thread: State Dept Warning: Your ugly @ss at home, still ugly abroad

The State Dept. is wrong on a few things. First off forgetting *the grass is greener on the other side* mentality. People like the idea of something new or different and it is attractive to them. A foreigner may be a 5 in the states because there are a million more just like him around the corner, nothing special or different. But over here we are different, facial features are different, skin color is different, height is different..... all that stuff plays for us over here while not back home where its normal. Same reason many western men have a thing for Asian women, they look exotic, different, and intriguing to us but to a local Asian man its just normal.... nothing special in her looks really.

For Filipina's for example they like lighter skin which we have while they are darker. They like longer noses while many of theirs is small and/or flat. The like height which for them average is around 5'-5'4" or so which we have. The idea of a foreigner especially a white foreigner is appealing especially when having kids as the kids can hopefully have those features they desire.

Still, it doesn't turn a 5 into a 10 but may turn a 5 into a 7 or an 8 into a 10.

 

That is a tough question, and you have to sort out the "macho BS" talk from the what the guys really feels and thinks. Men can easily be "very superficial and one-dimensional" if they only grew up being told by the mass media what to think and do. Many are still independent of the media influence. It is easy to see, just by looking at the various couples, that every man has a different "ideal 10" lady, which is really good for the men and the ladies. If every man want just one type of "ideal 10" lady the it would be great for that one lady, but not good for all the other ladies. It is just as true for ladies also. You seem to have a lot of attraction, love and other relationship enduring characteristics you shared with your husband, but you must admit the maybe Angelina Jolie would not have picked him over Brad Pitt, nor you picked Brad Pitt over him. Thank God, there is not just one lady, or man, in the world that would make every man/woman in the world happy. We all have that opportunity to find that "special one" that meets are own special needs and desire in a person.

There are many types of men here, so it is hard to describe what "a man" is looking for in a woman:

Some man have an ego desire to have an "arm ornament" type lady, the one you see in Robinsons' mall dressed like she just got lost and was on her way to the disco. Of coarse the male looks like hasn't danced in a couple of decades. He hangs his chin high as other men look at his lady, in what he thinks in envy, but are really wondering wonder how much her nightly fee maybe. She wears "exciting" provocative shoes, horrible to walk in, but great for looking at. Her dress looks more appropriate for a cocktail party than eating a snack at Jollilee Bee. Many times this is the most exciting lady he has been with for half a century, ( and his sister-in-law is not there to tell the rest of the family) and he is enjoying life now... for a while until his money runs out or his vacation is over..

Some men want the adventurous athletic type lady to chase them up the stairs at Casaroro Falls, or share a swim like a mermaid behind him on a afternoon snorkeling trip. Companionship may be more important than worrying about what others are thinking about his companion... he is enjoying his life now... as he wants to live it. Knowing it does not matter what other think about him or his lady

There is the guy who wants a drinking buddy, who has the lady who wants nothing more than to party... anywhere as long as the past hurts and pain of life does not break through to her reality of life. The guy usually has struggled through life and needs a little relief from reality too. He is enjoying his new life... without the worry of the past hurts he left behind.

All our valid desires and likes, as I have illustrated, there are many different type of man, so the answer is : NO, all men to do not wear the same thinking cap when looking for a lady.

An interesting read is "A Man's Guide to Life and Love in the Philippines" by Larry Elterman ( I believe a former resident of Dumaguete). You do not have to be in the Philippines to have his concepts apply to you. It outlines a number of type of men, (from the visitor to the Expat alcoholic) and a number of different types of woman (from the young naive virgin to the older single maiden). He discusses the type of relationship they may have together. His writing is humorous in style (to me anyway). The reason I recommend the book is he challenges the reader to discover the type of person they really are while reading, not while drinking beer with his friends, playing the "first liar always loses"game as they tell stories, competing with one another about conquests of the opposite sex. It helps set a direction for what you really want, not what you think you friends think you should have in your life. You can set your own direction without peer and beer pressure.

Life is an experiment if it was not that way, none of us would ever have been divorced or even dated more than one person in their life. Sometimes those experiences are successful and some times... well we will need some more alcohol to discuss those others.

 

A number only has value if you assign it one.

But from my female side, I THINK why a woman MIGHT have a hard time with this "numbers" thing is:

Mostly men are the judges of a woman in what number is assigned to her OUTER "beauty". Women don't usually do the judging for the "Top Ten" picturefolds of the year, or for those annual best-of-the-best Top Twelve" "sports" magazines. For advertising purposes, numbers get assigned to these "pin-up quality" models and this sells the product (the magizine) - and indirectly - it might also push the model's career earnings up, too. But the rating system used in this kind of case is not used to push her career and earning in any thought of doing anything for her in a first place or in a primary way, but rather, the numbers game is used to promote money sales for the magazine -- first and foremost. So her "beauty" is a tool used to make a dollar.

Some men and women have a hard time with the notion that it is OK to equate a value of a thing to a value of a living person. Like it seems to be OK to rate a fancy car as a "10", or the "TOP TEN" best soccer players in the world in some sort of a numerical order based on specific skills or exceding certain achievements. But some men and women have a hard time understanding why the definition of a woman's value based only on "beauty" can be so monolithically defined as to be given a 1-10 rating. So some men and women see this as a very shallow rating system and are offended by this.

Me. I'm way past this. My lifetime spouse sure wasn't a "10" in the beuaty/handsome department by anyone's stretch of the imagination. But in my world, the entire rest of ALL that made him a great human being and a lifetime spouse was a "10".

I think maybe folks (mostly women) do get tired of the "same old - same old" "beauty" thing being the primary ("only") criteria that sells papers, magazines and every thing else. But I think some of this stuff was ingrained in us way back when (like caveman/cavewoman days). Today, this "10" thing seems very superficial and I see where this "10 Beauty" scale thing does seem to objectify today's people - both men and women.

I personally could care less what a number is assigned to me from other men that do not know me. That's not particularly relevant to what I perceive as my "Value". And I think most grown men with a WORKING head on their shoulders have many more check lists than this single one.

I do hope this isn't the only and first-and-foremost criteria "thing" men use their BIG heads for. However, if for those minority of men that only use this "beauty" criteria as the be all/end all of their woman ratings, then I would rate those men as a "0" in my book. I'd definately pass on this type of guy, as his BIG head is even smaller than his LITTLE head - and his heart, if he has one. I'd have too little to work with as he wouldn't be able to handle a real "10".

Just my two cents....

nwlivewire

 

I get confused and headache to, lol, its really complicated. Im just a simple guy, if my gf make me happy and laugh every day, Im a lucky guy. I like personality, that she"s different to the others, in my eyes, of course. To most of us, its easy to find a girl, but I will never live with a girl I cant trust, ( did it, learned the lesson, lol ) know things can change, no matter what I believe. Good values in my eyes, trustworthy, can give her my ATM card etc., and of course I like what I see, turn me on, think thats enough to me. Need to gree deep conversation about the big question in life can be difficult, but at least she is curious and want to know, sometimes more than I have knowledge to explain. Filippina like do something at them self generally, I enjoy that and make the girls attractive, same time, I never been so spoiled of a female, no where in the world, like of a filippina and I enjoy it, big time.

 

I don't have an answer to this question, other than understanding people's buying decisions covers an entire college degree in Marketing/Advertising...

I think the guys are too busy buying Viagra, Playboys, pick-up trucks and GQ, too.

The 10 biggest apparel companies in the US - Business Insider

2015 TOP 10 BRANDS in the USA

10. Under Armour (men)
9. American Eagle (men)
8. Tommy Hilfinger (men)
7. Coach (women's leather handbags)
6. Michal Kors (women)
5. Levi Strauss (both?)
4. GAP (both?)
3. Old Navy (both?)
2. Ralph Lauren (not sure)
1. NIKE (both?)

THE MOST WATCHED TV SHOWS OF 2015 (THAT AREN'T FOOTBAL)

The Big Bang Theory
NCIS
The Walking Dead
Empire
NCIS: New Orleans
Blue Bloods
Dancing With The Stars

The Most Watched TV Shows of 2015 (That Aren't Football) | Mental Floss

Oprah isn't on any more, though it had a run of slightly over two decades. Harpo Productions bought their own cable network channel called OWN and is shutting down their old Chicago HQs this week.
Oprah Winfrey returns to Harpo Studios to shut down Chicago operations | Daily Mail Online

TOP 10 VEHICLE PURCHASES IN 2015

Car buyers across the country have nearly 300 models to choose from in 2015, but in the first six months of this year the 10 bestsellers have accounted for one out of every four new vehicles sold. Featuring three trucks, six sedans and an SUV, here are the 10 best-selling cars in the U.S. for the first half of 2015.

10 Best-Selling Cars of 2015 -- So Far - Kelley Blue Book


It's called marketing.

It's called making a buck in our capitalist society. Create a "need", fill it with a product that will take care of this "need" or "deficiency", and watch it fly off the shelves, the showroom floors, and the pharmacy drug store counters.

I'm NOT saying WOMEN (as a group) are tired of all this. What I AM saying is that those women who see through all this crap of marketing based on false needs and false deficiencies choose to call it what it is and wrote those posts in that above thread because they DO have the right to express ther view above the disquieting din of the skewed mass-marketing media hype. Men posted on there as well.

It takes all kinds to make up this social frabric we have, and each determines their wants and each determines their needs. Some folks can't tell the difference between the two, and successful marketing makes a company alot of dough by making sure folks don't stop to think about the differences.

Folks buy stuff because they can. Because it makes them feel good and "complete". Because it flatters their egos, give them "status" - and on and on it goes.

Capitalism is the great American way. Don't think - just buy, buy, buy. That'll fix whatever ails you, right?

V/R,
nwlivewire