⌛ Hi

The whole story???

There two sides to a story just like there are two people involved in a romantic relationship. I am thinking you’re not telling this forum the whole story. You say you broke up with him. But I think he dumped you and you are angry! Here is why – you say you searched DIA for the other GF’s ID, then contacted her and told her everything to ruin the relationship with her and your ex-BF. This is an act of revenge, and revenge is done out of anger! I think you did something to upset him enough to want to leave you. Perhaps you had other BFs like he had other GFs, and he discovered them. Then, so it looks like he is the one to blame, you did your best to discover his GFs and faults. I know Filipinos hate to take the blame for something or take responsibilities for failures. Girls love to make the guy into the unfaithful and cheating one. I wonder what you did to hurt your relationship.

And, you come on this forum looking for sympathy from others as you make yourself appear to be the one who is hurt. Maybe you are hurt and maybe he is too, but there HAS to be more to the story. If you’re good to your man, chances are better he will stay with you.

My advice for you is to let the past be the past, and forget that last relationship. It seems to be over.

Also, it is unusual for a DI forum member to use their full name as their member ID. I assume that is your real name. Also, putting your email address in your posting is a poor idea! I’m surprised the moderator didn’t refuse your posting.

I’ll be in the PI in a month or so. Maybe we can talk further about this person to person. I do counseling professionally.

 

Just important that you love yourself and do not find self worth through someone else. Your life will not end when someone leaves you. It just means that part of your life is over and new opportunities will now come.

Men generally like to flirt. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it is in our DNA. It doesn't mean we don't love you, it is just a desire to appear attractive to the opposite sex and be wanted. No disrespect towards you.

You can't let his actions hurt you,. If you are comfortable in yourself and happy, other guys will be drawn to you natrually.

Anyway, good luck!

- The Outcast

 

“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”

-Albert Einstein

 

No revenge!

Very interesting response to my first comment on your situation. It seems you are failing to understand what revenge is, or you are denying that your actions were for revenge. Revenge is an act of anger whether justifiable or not. In a relationship, revenge is often in response to jealousy. And jealousy is a sign of insecurity in the relationship and immaturity in the person. Certainly you knew before contacting that other girl that you would destroy the relationship between your ex-BF and her. Please don't kid yourself and us!

Your actions in contacting that other girl was inappropriate, rude, and insensitive. You contacted her AFTER your ex-BF broke up with you. Involving and harming another relationship is meddling. That relationship was not your business because you were no longer with your ex-BF. You had no reason to contact her except for revenge. “He hurt me, now I will hurt him!” That is revenge!

How would you feel if your ex-BF meddled in your future relationships? You need to remember think about your actions.

Did you ever stop to think of how that other girl feels? Does she feel better now, or are her hopes dashed because of your meddling? Does she trust men now? Was that doing her a favor? She maybe had a chance for a good relationship with your ex-BF. (You seem to be worried that.) That possibility has been destroyed by you. Do you feel better now? Is revenge sweet or bitter? Probably you have destroyed all chances of your ex-BF wanting you back.

Also, it seems I am right that your ex-bf left you, and you did something wrong to upset him. You didn't deny it. Again, I wonder what you did to upset him.

We can meet and talk when I get to the Philippines in a few weeks. I have a few things to wrap-up here in Hong Kong before spending some time in Dumaguete. Perhaps you can become a more realistic and sensitive person.

 

Who is this Sparky who has so much to say?

Some problems with posts by Sparky: "blaming the victim"; wrong assumption, namely that a girl will get angry only when she gets jilted--(ha! we know filipinas better than that); and assuming her guy will not "cat around" if she satisfies him (we know foreigners in the Philippines better than that also). He insinuates that the victim is mentally unwell.

Who is this Sparky, who insists there is another side to the story? He says he is outside the Philippines. He is a first-time poster (as is this writer). He registered on this board in order to reply to BT's complaint about her live-in boyfriend. He scolds BT for posting under her real name (How does he know?) and hides himself behind a pseudonym. We know who he is, and his real name on this board. If he insults her again ("She's crazy!") we will out him.

 

Why am I wasting my time replying?

Perhaps you should take some time to re-read the posts made in this thread. I think you’re missing many points made and tone of the replies.

It is easy to be a cynic and be skeptical, then develop some sort of conspiracy theory about anything rather than looking at the facts and taking things at face value. It takes very little intellect to be a cynic.

I’m not going to waste my time defending myself or testifying as to who I am, but only to say that I am a clinical psychologist who counsels people who are involved in interpersonal relationships which are stressed to due living in an overseas environment. I work with international companies and their foreign personal. Enough said! My plans are to move and live in the Philippines in the next few weeks.

Hiding under a pseudonym? Isn’t that normal on public forums. I see that you are not using your full name here, Jim878!

You have misquoted my statements, made assumptions and poor judgments as well as your own insinuations about my replies. For example, I never did I write “She’s crazy!” as you quoted. That would be unprofessional and be detrimental to her.

 

Well, I see exactly 2 useful replies (none of them comes from suddenly appearing new-members and psychologists abroad).

The rest can be considered as what falls out at the rear end of a Karabow. so it time to close that thread...

Sorry for all other members sitting at home smiling, shaking heads and waiting for the next chapter. ...