⌛ in laws/relatives living close to them

... but thats totally understandable.... :D

beer later ? I leave mine at home too :D


..... ooops Rechel just sneaked in and read this post..... so don't wonder about the bruises all over me....

 

hey papa, I dont ever hurt you physically.. hehehhehehe not unless you also love it too... hehehehehe its seems like hurt so good... don't feel like it should... hehehehhehe:D:p

 

Nice story, it all depends on the family I guess and also your wife (how able she is to handle her own family). Some families are a bit like in the story of the kid who cried wolf, too many stories and when there is actually an emergency nobody believes them. That strong shoulders carry more of the burden is logical.

 

Think I'll give my in-laws coffee mugs with Davfitz pictures on it as well:D

 

I was half-smiling as I was reading the posts because all that was said is true. When you marry a Filipina, you marry the whole barrio, lol. In order to be away from all those who want to take advantage of the foreign husband, some choose to settle in places far from the clan. However, there are those who manage to some sort of deal with the wife and her clan.

 

...i think this is the one issue that most foriegner never get or understand regarding our Filipino culture of sharing and helping each other as family. Even us filipino's aboard sometimes get tired in supporting our family,friends and relatives..,but.., when you grow up seeing, learning and experiencing the life that helping each other is a natural thing to do...,it just come so natural that sometimes you don't have to think twise.
...Their a help that helpfull and their a help that "killbill" Yes, helping a family in need is noble to do and as a husband and a foreigner you are not obligated because you are not born in the family. The one million question is who started the whole thing ? is it not you ? same us filipino here abroad this is a no story ending for us , an least, we don't want to be back home forever :D thats so hard to imagine

anyway...i am thinking why you guys start educating your wife family about the truth..,that you work hard for your money and they don't have the privilage in asking for it. That way, no misunderstanding but the knowledge of your honesty and truthfulness. Thats a noble thing to do not moving and running around because of your wife family.

 

you know the story of Don Quijote fighting the windmills...

you won't teach anybody who is brainwashed since generations in terms of foreigner = wallet...

there is no point of educating... furthermore I am not here in your lovely country to teach and discuss issues how and where I made/make money as the result would be :

Oh.. you make money, you are part of the family now, so you need to share it...

If I wanna spend my life with endless discussions I can stay in germany and talk to my tax-officer.... or running an Internet-Forum :D

Sir Davfitz, what you did is noble, but a complete different page of the book,
as that person has money but no access to it.

anyway... good luck with bikerdave's relatives

The money question occurred to me once a few years ago and I gave my Girl the amount and said:

.... sure, no problem... it is up to you darling, you can send the money to Luzon (BTW,an appropriate distance to relatives) or you can send your daughter to a half-way proper educational facility here in Dumaguete and try to give her a chance in life instead of becoming a peanut-vendor...

never got any request again...

... the little one and my girl doing fantastic and make me happy each single day...

 

Bottom line. You never help anyone by giving away money. I can understand Filipino culture where "you help me and I help you" but that doesn't apply to the foreigner if that help is going to always be a one way street.

 

Well I deal with it this way..

I now have my wife's family stay at my home. Taking care of it, keeping clean and neat. So I send them money every month. So it is not to hard on me right now. but it was better when the family fight was on it cost me nothing for two years. But when it is said and done they are family nothing you can do about it. you chose the Philippines to live so you will have to accept the culture. your wife comes with a family so except it or not. But if you don't you will have to change to a woman from another country. But it is the same issue with any woman that you marry in Asia. they all have families that you will need to help the Filipino family will cost much less that a wife from Thailand or many other countries..

 

teach.... I spend no single centavo in my Girlfriends relatives in 6 years, and no centavo will go up to support them and it will stay like that the next 6 years.

All money spend in the little one is created by Rechel and her effort in several fields of supporting what I do; from bringing in students for my diving to helping with several online-projects.

maybe I have no heart, maybe I am too young, but it works for me since 8 years. I rather throw money into supporting the educational and medical needs of kids here than supporting load and Tuba for relative or a sari sari shop where they are their own best customer...

It is a matter how everybody sets the rules from the first second.

for newer members I might want to add, that I did not come to the Philippines because of a woman I heard of or I met online or were interested in. I simply came here for diving and figured out that the lifestyle fits my temporary needs. My Rechel came about 2 years later into the picture

2 years, where I had open eyes and learned a lot... and I still learn daily and pay enough "educational fees" but i did not run into a relation-ship without the very basic knowledge and understanding for living in a foreign culture