⌛ in laws/relatives living close to them

I know rhoody

I know your story. You are a lucky man. I tried but the wife won I couldn't keep fighting it. I had to give up and accept there culture. But the Family doesn't push me much about money they understand it will not get them very far. I just will not help at all. so the requests are small. so I don't notice it so much..I send them no more than my care taker that I paid. so everyone is happy for the time being.

 

that's great to hear teach.

additional it is great that Sir Davfitz,Shadow, bikerdave, Panday Pera, you, me and many others talk with open cards here, as I believe that many silent readers following along many topics and are better prepared than I was (and probably many others) when arriving here in this wonderful country without doing the homework ...

The great characters (of which I know quite a few personally) make this forum fun and informative... even it's sometimes a trip over very thin ice... hehe

 

LOL I wasn't prepared at all..

I lived in a few places in Asia. But had never been to the Philippines but when I came. I was the typical fresh face off the boat. A real original sucker had no idea what was going to happen to me. I was ready for the normal Asian stuff. But some of the things that happened to me it just floored me. Couldn't believe the things they would do trying to get your money. I think I have a Harvard education when it comes to the Philippines now.

Still love the place and never will I want to live anywhere else. I really wish this forum was around before I came but there was very little on the net at the time. I have even learned a few things here myself.

If anyone wants to know about Mindanao I would be happy to fill them in..But the best I can tell the Philippines is all the same no matter what island you are on..

 

I came here with nothing and most likely will leave here with nothing also But Im used to it have been married a few times before. Just part of the culture EH? Let us not forget the crab mentality part of the culture also. OOOhhh this topic could have an offspring topic

 

The above topic is not just about foreigners but also true about any "Balikbayan" who decides to eventually settle back home. People will always seek the path of least resistance and in this case least effort (work). I had an uncle who retired from the US Navy and went back home. He lasted a year and a half and flew back to the US. He now lives in Mexico and is a lot happpier with nobody bothering him about money.

Yes, it is a noble gesture to help those in need but it is really a sad feeling to be taken advantaged of. If you give a beggar money he is liable to spend it on cigarette or booze, give him a piece of bread and you know he will eat. Unfortunately, some will even throw the bread back at you...

 

The only person in my wife's family I give money to is my wife's mother. Just a small stipend since her needs are small and I really want to do it since she is a sweetheart of a woman and treats me like a king whenever we go to her home.

The rest of the family gets loans. I have made several. The largest was for 10,000 pesos down to 1,000 pesos. I have no problem lending my wifes relatives money since I always get paid back. We understand each other. They understand that if I don't get paid back, they will never see another peso from me again in their lifetime. If they need money because their wife or child is sick, they won't get it from me. If they need one peso to save their lives because of illness, they better go and find it else where. They know I mean it. We have an understanding and our system works.

 

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The money question occurred to me once a few years ago and I gave my Girl the amount and said:

.... sure, no problem... it is up to you darling, you can send the money to Luzon (BTW,an appropriate distance to relatives) or you can send your daughter to a half-way proper educational facility here in Dumaguete and try to give her a chance in life instead of becoming a peanut-vendor...

never got any request again...

... the little one and my girl doing fantastic and make me happy each single day...

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....hehehehe Rhoody boy you so modest to admit that you taught well and the lesson learned well as will. The credit goes to Rechel too.
That the point, the right attitude and character between what is right and wrong when money asking persist.
But, come to think, most not all guys that married a mountain girl don't get it. And you can't blame the family that not educated enough to understand that they did not win a lottery because their virgin daugther marry a "FAT WALLET FOREIGNER" .
...you be surprise to know that most ordinary filipino still value man integrity when he means what he say.

I am with my boyfriend for nine years now.He went to philippines for the first time alone (remembering my first post in 2007 ?hehehe.. i lost my boyfriend in dumaguete )
when he came back he ask me to marry him. He understood why i work so hard and its all about my family most of the time. When he finally meet my whole family and relatives last january , no high expectation that i am bringing Willy Nelson look alike home :D my parents serve him grilled tilapya :D and when he witness the funfare of wake and Funeral procession( band playing) in Iloilo he want to have thesame funeral service with guetarist follow behind :p

life is wonderful !