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Irish humour

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff' started by KINGCOLE, Mar 1, 2015.

  1. KINGCOLE

    KINGCOLE DI Senior Member Highly Rated Poster

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    The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor in a small town in Ireland. One day he was walking down on Main Street when he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The Reverend wasn’t happy!

    He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the woman. “Miss FitzGerald,” he said sternly, "This is no place for a member of my congregation." “ Why don't you let me take you home?" “Sure,” she said with a slur, obviously very drunk. When Miss FitzGerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The Reverend realized that she had much to drink and grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After a few moments, the Reverend wound up on top of Miss FitzGerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist. The pub barkeep looked over and said, “Oy mate, we won’t have any o’ that carrying on in this pub!" the Reverend looked up at the bartender and said, “But you don’t understand, I’m Pastor Fluff." The bartender said, “Ah well, if you're that far in, ye might as well finish."
     
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  2. Notmyrealname

    Notmyrealname DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    Funny joke above.

    Reminds me of the guy who went to his Priest to confess he "Almost had s*x with a friend's wife", to which the Priest replied "Why do you use the word 'almost'?"

    The guy told him they had both undressed fully naked but only rubbed their bodies together and he did NOT put it in. So the Priest told him that "Rubbing is the same as putting it in and you are to do 5 Hail Mary's and put $100 in the Collection Box".

    The man went over to the Collection Box and then walked away - the Priest saw this and rushed over to him "You didn't give the $100!", to which the guy replied "True, but I rubbed it on the box and you told me that is the same as putting it in".
     
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  3. Crystalhead

    Crystalhead ADMIN Admin ★ Forum Moderator ★ ★ Global Mod ★ ★ Moderator ★ ★★ Forum Sponsor ★★ ★ No Ads ★ Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Army

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    Paddy told Murphy that his wife was driving him to drink.
    Murphy said "lucky you... my Wife makes me walk"
     
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