⌛ liers

HERE IS A LIST OF MEN'S NUMBER 1 RULE.. JUST TO MAKE IT CLEAR TO ALL YOU GALS!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN.
WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.
LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.
1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.
1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.
1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.
1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE
1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE.
NOT BOTH. IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.
1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.
1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.
1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS. PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.
1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.
1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.
1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE... REALLY.
1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS BASEBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.
1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.
1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.
1. I AM IN SHAPE. Round IS A SHAPE!

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING.

 

Wonderfull :D

 

Good one Mate

 

Thanks Panday Pera ! yes... got it ! time to time its good to talk about this in the kitchen table hehehe...like reviewing your fighting rules.


Dumaguetenia

 

Great

I just copied it and sent it to my son in law in the States. Living with my daughter he needs them.

 

The truth.., the post save my day :o as i cried out of frustration that we drove half an hour to get the piece of our broken water pump and when i ask my honey if he got the exact piece his-- answer not sure--i am thinking ---you will not get lucky tonight---and yahhh..the piece was not the exact piece. Not his fault and neither mine :D

 

What a great list, where did you ever find the time to document all that?

 

Nothing is funnier than the truth, isn't it? I'm surprised even Duma enjoyed it.

 

Nice list, I will have to put this list as well.


1. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

2. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

3. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

4. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

5. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

6. Virginity can be cured.

7. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.

8. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

9. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

10. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

11. Q: What's an Australian kiss ?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

12. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......

13.. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't..

14. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

15. Despite the old saying, ' Don 't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!

 

Lmao

Panday Pera that was a great one LMAO.. How true it is.. I hereby award you an official at-a-boy:D

1000 At-a-boy's equals a pat on the back award. One aw sh*t then you have to start over..