⌛ The Filipino Bubble

Could you please state what paragraph and clause within the family code that stops you leasing from your wife?

Family Code link

As I really can not see anything within the document that states you can not lease from your wife or partner and what you say is news to me and those that have taken this precausion. The fact is the land still remains your wifes you are only leasing it of her as its in her name. I can see nothing wrong but please let me know and correct me if I am wrong.

 

Its how it works and I have confronted many a Filipina about this bubble and they normally confirm its a correct analysis. My partners a Ate and I see her giving instruction and advice to her sisters and brothers very regularly. She has taken on more power as she is seen as the richest member of the family.

I actual fund school fee's and I am sending my partners sister to university to become a teacher. I placed several kids through school and one more guy through to get his B.SC in computing plus of course helping people that ask to pay school fees.

It does not cost a lot and if its for your partners family the achievement is that the parents benefit from new sources of funding from their other offsprings because of higher salaries being earnt due to better education. Making sure the fund of course go to the right place.

My partner is presently buying pigs and goats for her parents small farm in the mountains of negros as a shared family investment. One however does not need to do such things to do good here as the money that we spend and bring into this country already helps the economy.

It seems a good idea to improve the lives of those that work to obtain achievement and not to give money away to those that will not move a finger. We are not cash cows and i certainly do not have a dollar sign that some filipinos seem to see on my forehead. So I expect achievement in any of my finacial investments in people here in the Philippines.

 

Yes, I agree with the sponsoring the education. Currently, I am sending 7 people (nephews, nieces, and a brother in law) to private schools and colleges right now. It used to be eight but, one of them graduated from college last year. An education is something a person will have for their entire lives and can never be taken away from them. I suggest to them to become nurses or teachers. If they want to go over seas after they graduate, then I will pay for this set up too. If they want to major in something else, this is their choice. I just want them to study hard and graduate from College.

I think that I read somewhere that Marcos was the person that pushed the OFW system in order to help him get the Philippines out of bankruptcy.

 

On this point I think we all argee

I have always been willing to help out my Filipino Family, however not in the ways that made me feel used. helping my wife's sister with school no problem she's the youngest of the family. I have always been of the mind it is better to teach a man to fish than just give him fish. But there are times we need to help our adoptive families. It is the civilized thing to do.

 

Total agree teacher thats the stand you have to take.

 

Well done water boy, yes it was the great dictator or what I refer in jest the great frozen one, lol

 

I am aware of the seniority thing etc., I just mean that you should not go blind on the traditional set-up and be aware that it is far from romantic. That a grandmother has a lot of status does not mean she is by defenition wise or distributes resources well.

I would be weary of any kind of business venture, even lifestock and land buying and see any of these things as gifts but not expect too much of it.

tubigboy helping with overseas working is smart as well, lot of agencies seem to have some fly now pay later deal where you pay a lot more than is needed. Some dental care especialy for the kids is also a good way to help, it is also relative cheap like education and investing in ppl.

Also be aware of debts and morgages, you might be helping somebody who has lend from loandsharks (20% a month), so buy livestock while the land morgage takes away any profit a rural family makes.

 

If the system is fully explained it gets complicated especial when pride and greed and wealth changes the pecking order, strength of character also can play a part. Not all families act in such manner in some the men still rule the ways of family life. Some like my partners independance of choice is allowed to those that can handle their own responsibilities. It can become very complicated but in general the system does work how I explained it in the article I wanted to keep things simple. I can see your point and thanks for bring it in debate.

The point is that one must insure that you run your own house hold and it should not be run from outside. If your not aware of the bubble your life is normally being effected by someone or more from the family. I fell into this trap once and it took me 4 years to work out what was truthly happening.

Those are very wise words and these are gifts to my partner and the family, I do not do any form of business here I have no need to.

 

yes I agree with the whole idea behind what you are saying just try to add some nuances. The whole bubble concept is a very good way to explain and to ensure you set up your own is vital.

Make sure you are in control/able to do things yourself, be aware of influences and pressure on your spouse also to protect her (there are plenty of cases where your wife might be seen as a cash cow and even gets ripped of by her own family). Envy can be very destructive even within families, sure plenty a filipina has been left due to the greed of her family while she herself got little out of it.

 

That happens and spoils perfectly good relationships where it turns the husband sour towards his partner of whom does not know whats really going on. Her pride is greatly hurt and she hides the real problem and takes the whole brunt of guilt. It gets really complicated if you don't understand the pride thing and truthfully I have a lot to learn about that.