⌛ Wanted: A Reliable Toilet Seat

My greatest disappointment in the Philippines has been Halo Halo. It is visually so appealing and tempting. The reality is chipped ice and corn, neither of which has any place in a confection, IMHO.

My second greatest disappointment, with greater consequences for my personal (dis)comfort is Philippine toilet seats. Can I not purchase a reliable exemplar of this basic comfort item for human posteriors anywhere?

In North America, I never gave toilet seats a second thought. When one bought a house - there it was - complete with attached toilet. If one actually built a house, then one would actually have to purchase one. Once installed. that was it. Forever! Done! End of story! Next item.

Not so here. In my six months of continuous residence, I seem to be the full-time support of the toilet seat industry. I have visited every major retailer in Dumaguete and received nothing but mounting disappointment. The plastic ones do not reliably fit together or critical joints fail in remarkably short order. Those with metal fittings are attached to materials doomed to disintegration.

I had never experienced a paper toilet seat until my residence here. I simply could not believe it possible or morally conscionable to manufacture such a defective product.

In those six months I'm now on my fourth toilet seat. It won't last until the end of February. The brass fittings are just fine. The seat and lid, which appeared to be wood are rapidly de-laminating. Another paper toilet seat! All this angst at a purchase price of 1K pesos!

I'm becoming desperate. I can easily solve this problem with a purchase abroad. Twenty bucks Canadian will bring me a lovely Irish oak toilet seat. It will last my lifetime and beyond. The air shipment will run me about another hundred bucks but another daughter will remain unmarried and a son will forego tuition until the debt is liquidated.

I'm trying hard not to lose faith in the ability of this nation to produce and market a reliable toilet seat. My only other alternative is to turn to stealth acquisition. If you see a longnose in your building with a screwdriver in his belt, a towel covered object under his arm and a smile on his face - you will know that I have struck.

Please help to fight crime. Find me a toilet seat.

 

Hi Davfitz;
We will be back in the Philippines sometime on the second week of June. I can bring a brand newToilet set for you .

 

Mate,

I am completely with you in that point, it is really hard in Dumaguete to find a seat for a convenient morning-sh...and I blamed my big fat german lubot for that...

one option (and I am serious) is, if you find the proper fittings to get a carpenter and make a custom one out of good hard wood and it is not that expensive.

the attached seats are my office toilet and the guest-toilet (that one may last forever...

If you use a regular seat, don't forget to give the correct guideline for correct usage

 

Does your office toilet seat offer auto-massage? Quite convenient in case one swallows a fish hook.
The guest seat seems to offer an acupuncture option. Where can I order both seats? Lol!

 

Lmao

LMAO davefitz that was the funniest thing I have read in a very long time. The reason it is so funny it that it is so very true. I had that problem too just kept buying until one day I bought one that didn’t break. I would take Gene up on his offer. But Rhoody had a great idea too.

 

I am pleased to report progress in the toilet seat department. I am accepting Gene's kind offer and can hardly wait until June.

That said, nothing I have ever contemplated comes close to comparing with the creations of Rhoody's imagination.

My spouse naturally has the most reasonable answer. She recently contracted with a carpenter / cabinet maker for the construction of a new cabinet. Real wood: no pressed peanut shells. Much better than any of the offerings in the retail stores and at about the same price.

I could actually read the drawings which were produced. Not bad for a Grade 10 grad, eh? The mention of marine grade plywood set my heart to palpitating. Doctora Anne, her practical side prevailing suggested that a seat be manufactured from the scrap to be generated by the larger project: the EUREKA moment!

It arrived today! It is installed! Photos were taken. Dare I share them here? We wish to formally inaugurate the new convenience without denying household members its pro tempere use. Thus, like a new bridge, interim traffic is tolerated. When his constitution feels the call, my namesake DEN DEN will conduct the first "movement!"

 

hahaha having read all about the things that annoy foreigners about the philippine this has got to be taking the p*ss................ see that pun on words? hahaha

 

Ok.Ok. I like the one with pins for special occasions. But that one for office use that will allow me to work all the way through sh...ing, that I can recommend for those who work online. Now, if there's a way to take a shower in there... hahaha this si so gooooood

 

I canät even count anymore how many times I was reading the original post and I laugh each time I read it (even it is sad but true) for me it is definitely the "post of the year" so far... It shows in a very humorous way the simple rules to survive here...
If you wanna have anything done properly, do it by yourself, or bring it from somewhere where people know what they do...

Saying that, if things would be different here, I would not be here, this are all points what makes this country and place so lovable, Take it or leave (it)...

Rhoody

 

Happy to hear the news...

Yes, please post the pictures. I am very interested in how it turned out.


And Please someone check on Rhoody. His post is to say the lest is unusual or is it a once in a blue moon thing? Really Rhoody being kind with his words what did aliens land in Dumaguete and take over Rhoody body.:D