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Where's the funny stuff?

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff' started by Garcia, Jun 24, 2022.

  1. Notmyrealname

    Notmyrealname DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    I know that case - the farmer (Tony Martin) lived in a remote part of Norfolk (the 'North Folk' in Anglo-Saxon) and the burglars were gypsies (no slur against gypsies but most of them are thieves, scammers, vicious trouble-makers, etc - and I'm not allowed to say that truth in the UK!) ).

    But his BIG mistake was to shoot one of the burglars in the back! That means the burglar was moving away from him at the time and the laws states that there is a need to prove 'honest belief that your life is in danger'.

    A pity he did not get the b@st@rd in the front a bit earlier. I am a mild guy but my view is that if anyone enters a property illegally - the assumption being that it is for a negative purpose and how are we to know what that is - then that intruder should not leave in good health.

    I owned a small farm (not in Phils) and therefore was a target for criminals to steal equipment - so in one of the locked sheds I put a sign stating that because they have entered this shed an alarm has now gone off in my house and within minutes I will be there with a shotgun (which I did own) and will kill them and say as it was dark and I thought they swung around with a gun (silly me, it was only a shadow and I was already very scared for my life!). I would be perfectly content to tell a Jury (usually composed of mostly stupid people) that I honestly believed I was about to be shot and that I had the shotgun with me because I heard a noise outside and thought it was a pesky fox (incidentally, I would never kill other animals (only humans) unless they were injured). Look the Jury in the face and say it with conviction (unintended pun) - and with a modicum of sadness and terror on the face - and it should work. I would have said how VERY sorry I was at the tragic outcome (whilst crossing my fingers behind my back).

    That method is not copyright but only use it if you get them in the front, are willing to state without hesitation to the law that you had that honest belief (you can say it 99 times but if you fail to say it just once then that is the evidence they will use against you) and can act remorseful-plus-terrified!

    In case there are any Miss Marples out there: Yes, I would have removed the sign before phoning the cops and would have ensured I was the only living person who had ever read it. Also, I would have done the same in my house - the shadows issue and the belief. Just have that water-tight in your mind way before the event.
     

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    Garcia

    Garcia DI Senior Member

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    Tom Jones!
     

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  3. God Bless Texas

    God Bless Texas DI Member

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    Texas- at night shooting someone that enters your propery its justified.
    Daytime has a higher standard (not much)
    If you shoot someone make sure they die on your property!
    The police will arrest arrest the shooter, protocol, then based on the "stand your ground" law you should be released.
    Do not be under the influence of drugs. It is best that if you shoot someone that you are also the one to call the police and give your info and -by all means- listen to the cops when they show up!
    I had my licence to conceal or open carry, a great $150 class.
    Another common sign
    - trespassers will be shot
    Survivors- twice.
     
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    Garcia

    Garcia DI Senior Member

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    How I met your mother....
     

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    Garcia

    Garcia DI Senior Member

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    The cat came to drink milk and fight and he's all out of milk....
     

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    Garcia

    Garcia DI Senior Member

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    Could've ironed it....
     

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    Garcia

    Garcia DI Senior Member

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    It was so cold this morning...
     

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  8. Notmyrealname

    Notmyrealname DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    In the UK they arrest the victim and send the intruder on holiday to sunny climes at the taxpayers' expense.
     
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  9. God Bless Texas

    God Bless Texas DI Member

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    I thought guns were rare where they drive on the wrong side of the road, and drink warm beer.
     
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    Garcia

    Garcia DI Senior Member

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    Guns are generally rare, unlike I believe the USA where there are more guns than people I read. If so then you're seriously F'd IMO.

    Just saying....
     
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