Best Posts in Thread: Where's the humor on here?

RichD · Dec 5, 2020

RichD · Sep 27, 2020

hiddenuser · Sep 23, 2020

did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic? he didn't know if there really was a dog!

RichD · Aug 23, 2020

Show Pony · Apr 2, 2020

Things are getting a bit strange around here with all this crazy PASS foolishness.
This PONY has a plan.

I have decided to self identify as a Gay Black Billionaire.

If I am turned back by some official then I'm gonna get TRIGGERED because;
They are area either a Racist, Homophobic or a Communist.

All this sounds pretty silly but look around silly seems to be the order of the day.

Crystalhead · Mar 17, 2020

It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets.

When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

Also, being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied,"it's definitely going to be a very cold winter." The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy."

Crystalhead · Feb 26, 2020

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

danbandanna · May 12, 2019

A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman"

She started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by email lately."

Later that day, the blonde teenager came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.

"Yes, she replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a $10.00 tip.

“And, by the way," the teenager added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

Brian Oinks · Oct 16, 2018

Principal: "Your Son is being Bullied."
Me: "He needs a Sword!"
Principal: "What? No! That would..."
Me: *Pulls out a Sword*
Principal: "Whoa! Hold on! I don't want any problems!"
Me to Son: "See what I mean!"