Best Posts in Thread: Where's the humor on here?

Working Dogs come in all categories

 

Talking of Builders

 

Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.

On the appointed day, the inspector turned up.
"Tell me about your staff," he asked Paddy.
"Well," said Paddy, "there's the farm hand, I pay him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage.
Then there's the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging.
There's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week along with a bottle of whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my wife."

"That's disgraceful" said the inspector, "I need to interview the half-wit."

"That'll be me then," said Paddy.

 

1. 
   
   
   ·
   
   
   
   
   
   Sorry, but I need to vent!! So I went to Hypermart to get some Christmas stuff. I noticed this lady was staring at me in the same aisle I was in. No biggie. I moved to the next aisle and here she comes. Again... STARING! So now I'm like, What is her problem?! I finish up my shopping and head to the check out line. Of course who is there ahead of me but this same lady. She turns around and starts staring again. So I start playing with my phone so I don't have to look at her. Finally she says "I want to apologize for staring at you, but you look just like my father who just passed away." I felt really bad after that and gave her my condolences. She says "Thank you...but I have a favor to ask. I know it's weird and understand if you don't want to, but can you give me a hug and say 'Bye baby' to me?" Inside I was like Really?!??!, but understanding grief the way that I do, I went ahead and did it. She smiles, thanks me, and leaves. The cashier rings up my stuff and the total comes out to 5000 peso. I knew something wasn't right, because it should have been like 2000 or so. The cashier then tells me that my total was included with my daughters goods I'm like, "What?!!!" She said, "my dad said was paying for her last few items along with your things. I told her that the woman was most definitely NOT my daughter. She said, well I saw you hug her and heard you call her baby. I'm like OMG...I flew out of the store looking for this witch, ready to get with her, I see her loading up her car! She saw me and jumped in her car, I got to her as she was putting her leg in, and I started pulling her leg...just like I'm pulling yours right now! Hahaha...
   

 

The Mafia Boss
31 August ·
My cousin was hauling a load of rolled sod to Texas ...
Gets pulled over by Louisiana state trooper ...
Trooper walks up to the door ...
Jeramy ... Can I help you officer ?
Trooper .. was just wondering where the Willie Nelson concert was being held at .

 

an old bloke named Frank told me this story .and he swears its true........after ww2 he was in the airforce and had a workmate Tex ......................Tex had a solution for every problem .......Tex and his gf Betty were going camping for a week and stopped at a roadside store for supplies .....He asked for a can of "pickled pork ".........""""sori "" said the storekeeper .."pickled pork is rationed and is only available to nursing mothers and PREGNANT WOMEN """"............"Don't worri Betty ,said Tex ....we can buy a can of pickled pork on our way home next week