Best Posts in Thread: Where's the humor on here?

Hope you are better now.

 

APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it....

They told me I had typeA blood, but it was a TypeO.

A girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

 

Gotta Love'm!

 

Brian, I chuckled through your list, but wondered how the hell you could get thru 100 items without once mentioning Farcebook... (maybe 8 yrs ago, FB didn't dominate the country ???)...

 

Couple of old Rodney Dangerfield one liners

My wife kisses the dog on the lips and won't drink out of my glass.
I bought a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

 

A couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary by returning to their honeymoon hotel on the anniversary date. They arrived and the wife went to the hotel desk to check in while the husband brought the bags and sat down in a chair in the lobby. When the wife was done she turned to see her husband sitting in the chair with tears streaming down his cheeks. She went over and said, "Dear, what is wrong with you? We are here on our 50th anniversary at our honeymoon hotel and there you sit crying like a baby. You should be happy. Why are you crying?" He says, "Well darling, I was just remembering what happened so long ago. Do you remember that we were sitting on your parents front porch in the swing holding hands?" She says, "Yes, dear I remember." He "And do you remember that I reached over and stole a big kiss?" She "Yes, darling I remember fondly." He "And do you remember that your Daddy the Sheriff, stormed out the front door and pointed a shotgun at me and said, "You have compromised my daughter!!! You marry her now or I will put you in jail for 50 years!!!!!"
She "Yes dear I remember it well."

He .................................... "I woulda got out today."

 

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm Alternative for McDo's?