Where's the humor on here?

Bull Joke

A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this."
They proceeded to the next bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one."

The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."

 

Dad takes his son to the zoo . the son asks his dad - what is that thing hanging down between the legs of that zebra? well, son, thats the zebras penis... really? i asked mom the same question to mom last week and she stammered and then said it was nothing.... well, son, your mom's been spoiled

 

Wisdom

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, violent river.

Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed:
"God, please give me the strength to cross the river"

Poof!.....God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able
to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed:
"God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river"

Poof!......God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs
and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed:
"God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to
cross the river"

Poof!.....He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.


If at first you don't succeed, do it the way your wife told you!"

 

"someone stole my car!"

Guy stumbles out of a bar with his keys in his hand and starts staggering up and down the street. a police officer shows up and asks him, "is there a problem sir?'
..the drunk says, "someone stole my car!"
police officer asks him where he last saw his car and the drunk replies, "right here on the end of this key!"
..about that time the officer notices the drunk's fly is open and points out to the drunk that his privates are exposed.
..the drunk looks down and says..."dang! someone stole my girlfriend too!"

 

YouTube - Little Britain Live 2

 

YouTube - Little Britain (Vicky Pollard, Carol Beer)

 

YouTube - Little Britain - Carol in Spain


YouTube - Robbie Williams in Little Britain


YouTube - Little Britain: Meeting the parents

 

Desert Island Rescue

Desert Island Rescue

A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit....
Man: "Hi! Am I ever happy to see you."
Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here a long time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

Man: "It's been ten years!" With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man a cigarette.

Man: "Oh thank you so much!"

Girl: "So tell me how long its been since you had a drink?"

Man: "It's been ten years" The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink.

Man: "Oh... thank you so much. You are like a miracle!"

Girl: [Starting to unzip the front of her wet suit.] "So tell me then, how long has it been since you played around?"

Man: "Oh, my God, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there too?!"

 

YouTube - Sebastian and Prime Minister 2

YouTube - Little Britain Emily Howard

 

How to Tell if the Fly is male

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. ! Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone
Edward