Dumaguete Info Search


Where's the humor on here?

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff' started by grandpainak, Apr 16, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Best Posts in Thread
Page 137 of 408
  1. PatO

    PatO DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Marines

    Messages:
    6,129
    Trophy Points:
    451
    Ratings:
    +4,589 / 1,017
    Pinoy Hell

    A Pinoy dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?"
    He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on.

    He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Filipino hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks, "What do they do here?"

    He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Filipino devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

    "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells- why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

    "Because there is always a brownout, so the electric chair does not work. Somebody stole all the nails to sell it "por kilo". And the devil used to be a public official, so he comes in, punches his time-card, shakes hands with all the people waiting there and then goes back home..."
     
    PatO, Jan 27, 2011
    #1361
  2. fallenviking

    fallenviking Ring Ring. Who's calling?

    Messages:
    63
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0
    fallenviking, Jan 28, 2011
    #1362
  3. Knowdafish

    Knowdafish DI Forum Luminary

    Messages:
    3,038
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Ratings:
    +15 / 2
    Ken and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year,�



    And every year Ken would say,�



    'Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter'�



    Edna always replied,�



    'I know Ken, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,�



    And fifty bucks is fifty bucks'�


    One year Ken and Edna went to the fair,


    �

    �

    And Ken said,�



    'Edna, I'm 75 years old.�



    If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance'�


    To this, Edna replied,�


    "Ken that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'�


    The pilot overheard the couple and said,�


    'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny!�


    But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'�


    Ken and Edna agreed and up they went.�


    The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.�



    He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,�



    But still not a word...�


    When they landed, the pilot turned to Ken and said,�


    'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't.�


    I'm impressed!'�



    Ken replied,�


    'Well, to tell you the truth,�


    I almost said something when Edna fell out,�



    But you know,�




    "Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!'
     
    Knowdafish, Jan 31, 2011
    #1363
  4. Firefly44

    Firefly44 DI Forum Adept

    Messages:
    414
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Ratings:
    +71 / 4
    Brilliant Pato and Nodafish. Good also fallenviking Thanks.:smile:
     
    Firefly44, Jan 31, 2011
    #1364
  5. aussieboy

    aussieboy DI Junior Member

    Messages:
    41
    Trophy Points:
    128
    Ratings:
    +7 / 1
    Dear God

    Dear God,

    My prayer for 2011 is for a fat bank account and a thin body.

    Please don't mix these up like you did last year.

    AMEN…
     
    aussieboy, Jan 31, 2011
    #1365
  6. AndyG

    AndyG DI Member Admin ★ Forum Moderator ★ ★ Global Mod ★ ★ Moderator ★ Showcase Reviewer Blood Donor

    Messages:
    57
    Trophy Points:
    178
    Occupation:
    Web developer
    Location:
    Dumaguete City
    Ratings:
    +124 / 1
    Blood Type:
    A-
    A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

    They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?" The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.

    The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.

    As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00. He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers. The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.

    The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money. The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."

    The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

    The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation, and, if you want to bring your Mother and Father along, I'll marry them!!
     
    AndyG, Feb 1, 2011
    #1366
  7. Brucewayne

    Brucewayne DI Member

    Messages:
    228
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0
    A man and his Filipina wife were driving along when the wife suddenly says "I see a sign".
    The husband says, "Please, this is no time for your local superstitions!"
    In just a few seconds, the car is flying through the air and lands in an empty riverbed.
    The husband and wife sit for a few seconds, trying to gather their thoughts and the husband finally asks his wife, "Just what was this sign that you said you saw?"
    The wife responds with "Bridge Out!"
     
    Brucewayne, Feb 1, 2011
    #1367
  8. Rhoody

    Rhoody DI Forum Luminary

    Messages:
    5,283
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ratings:
    +38 / 0
    just wonder what you guys/girls thought in the first seconds looking at that picture...
     

    Attached Files:

    Rhoody, Feb 3, 2011
    #1368
  9. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

    Messages:
    9,088
    Trophy Points:
    451
    Occupation:
    Happily Retired
    Location:
    Northern Junob, Dumaguete City
    Ratings:
    +5,222 / 1,090
    :eek: Rhoody without a Hat on!:wink:
     
    Jack Peterson, Feb 3, 2011
    #1369
  10. PatO

    PatO DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Marines

    Messages:
    6,129
    Trophy Points:
    451
    Ratings:
    +4,589 / 1,017
    At first glance, it looks like a bat out of hell. Another look is bad, a picture of that dude 6 months after he took that WhyNot teen back to his place:eek:
     
    PatO, Feb 3, 2011
    #1370
Page 137 of 408
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Loading...