Where's the humor on here?

Last week was my birthday and I didn't
feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my husband would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
he barely said good morning,
let alone
' Happy Birthday.'

I thought....

Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word..
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my handsome Boss Rick, said,
'Good Morning, lady,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! '
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Rick knocked on my door
and said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me..'
I said, 'Thanks, Rick,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go!'

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
He chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Rick said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We?'

I responded,
'I guess not.
What do you have in mind?'
He said,
'Let's drop by my place,
it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at his house,
Rick turned to me and said,
If you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.

He went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
he came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my husband
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there....

On the couch....

Naked.

 

Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma..



After being in a coma for nearly 6 months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically she asks the doctor about her baby.






The doctor replied 'Ma'am, you had twins... a boy and a girl. The babies are fine.



However they were poorly at birth and had to be christened immediately - so your brother Paddy came in and named them.'






The woman thinks to herself Oh suffering Jesus, no, not me brother he's a fecking clueless idiot!



Expecting the worse, she asks the doctor 'Well, what's my daughter's name?'






'Denise' says the doctor. The new mother is somewhat relieved. 'Wow, that's a really beautiful name.



I guess I was wrong about my brother. She thought, 'I really like Denise.'






Then she asked, 'What's the boy's name?'



The doctor replies ' Denephew.'