Where's the humor on here?

Went to the pub the other night and there was a really fat girl dancing on the table.
"Great legs" I said.
"OOOOO" she giggled, "do you really think so?"
"Definitely" I said, "most tables would have collapsed under the weight by now".

 

Ha ha ha That's just way too funny. I copy-pasted it and shared it
with my friends on facebook. lol Thanks for the laugh.

 

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I can picture that mermaid spanking Broadside for his table legs comment, and then finding out how much he likes to eat "fish".

 

she probably would use him as a toothpick after she had 3 sperm-whales for supper

 

Previous wife said to me "when you are away on a guys only weekend, do you think about me ?"
Apparently "only to stop myself coming too soon" wasn't the right answer.

 

At the mall yesterday, I was talking to a very beautiful young lady. She asked me if I like breasts or legs. I told her what I really like is tight young snatch. Apparently, I am not welcome back at KFC any longer.

 

I assume you got following answer:

 

And scientists say ocean levels are rising because of global warming? Ha!

 

Husband wakes up one morning and tell's his wife, you're getting so fat you look like a washing machine.... Wife shrugges her shoulders and walks away. That night he said he was sorry and would like some sex, she answered, I can't start the washing machine for such a small load so you will have to wash it by hand......