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Where's the humor on here?

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff' started by grandpainak, Apr 16, 2007.

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  1. garbonzo

    garbonzo DI Senior Member Veteran Marines

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    I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for more than a year and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me—her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was 22, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
    One day ‘little’ sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
    Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word.
    She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.”
    I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
    With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”
    And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car
     
  2. Knowdafish

    Knowdafish DI Forum Luminary

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    I actually do care, but for those that don't:

    [​IMG]
     
  3. Knowdafish

    Knowdafish DI Forum Luminary

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    Infinite Energy! :smile:

    [​IMG]
     
  4. expatron

    expatron DI Forum Patron

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    Yuck, I love cat's but now I have Rottweilers!!!!
     
  5. Vicmico

    Vicmico DI Member

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    Don't your Rotties deserve a snack...???
     
  6. Mike Alano

    Mike Alano DI Member Showcase Reviewer

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    Link for the lazy :D

    [video=youtube;Mf_oAjqBRe4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mf_oAjqBRe4[/video]
     
  7. Charlie

    Charlie DI Senior Member Restricted Account Veteran Coast Guard

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    On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when a wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. 'I'm too young to die,' she wails.

    Then she yells, 'Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?'

    For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

    Then a cowboy from Montana stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome: tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt..........

    One button at a time.........

    No one moves................

    He removes his shirt..............

    Muscles ripple across his chest.........


    She gasps....................

    He whispers.................

    'Iron this... then get me a beer.'







     
  8. Knowdafish

    Knowdafish DI Forum Luminary

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  9. Knowdafish

    Knowdafish DI Forum Luminary

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  10. Knowdafish

    Knowdafish DI Forum Luminary

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    And in Oklahoma....

    [​IMG]

    It pays to have a good sense of humor!
     
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