Where's the humor on here?

A doctor from France says: "In France , the medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles; we put them into another man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work."

A German doctor comments quietly: "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of the brain out of a person; we put it into another person head, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."

A Russian doctor says boasting: "That's nothing either. In Russia we take out half of the heart from a person; we put it into another person's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."

The U.S. doctor laughs and answers loudly immediately: "That's nothing my colleagues, you are way behind us....in the USA , about 5 years ago, we grabbed a person from Kenya with no brains, no heart, and no balls....we made him President of the United States, and now....... the whole d*mn country is looking for work.

 

Hey mate if you woke up this morning with your pants pulled down and you have a sore bum, would you tell any one? answer no , ok do you want to come camping this weekend ?

 

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, ‘Seven Points.’

His wife rolls over and says, ‘What in the world was that?’ The old man replied, ‘its fart football.’

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, ‘Touchdown, tie score…’

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, ‘Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.’

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, ‘Touchdown, tie score.’

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, ‘Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.’ Now the pressure is on for the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, ‘What the hell was that?’

The old man says, ‘Half time, switch sides.

 

A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment all of his own. He went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.

The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."

He followed her into her apartment. She closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now completely naked, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"

Flustered and embarrassed he replied, "It's got to be your ears."

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts! They are a full 38 inches and 100% natural. I work out every day and my @ss is firm and solid.

"I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"

Clearing his throat, he stammered... "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming... that was me."

 

A guy walking along the warf in Dumaguete see a young girl about to jump off and drown herself; after talking to her for a while he told her his ship was leaving to go to Australia and he would sneak her aboard.
She agreed and that night he took to his cabin gave her food and made love to her, this went every night for 3 weeks.
one day the captain found her she told him her story and added we will be in Australia soon.
the captain laughed and told lady your on the Cagayan De Oro ferry.

 

Confucius Say' Girl who fly airplane up side down have crack up

 

One day an old German Shepherd started chasing rabbits and before long, discovered he was lost. Wandering about, he noticed a young panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old German Shepherd thought, "Uh oh! I'm in deep trouble now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settled down to chew on them with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther was about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaimed, "Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young panther halted his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror came over him, and he slunk away into the trees.
"Whew!" said the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a squirrel, who had watched the whole scene from a nearby tree, figured he could put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he went to spill the beans and strike a deal.
The young panther was furious at being made a fool of and said, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and watch what I do to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old German Shepherd saw the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thought, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sat down with his back to his attacker and pretended he hadn't seen them yet. Just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd said…
"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"