Where's the humor on here?

AND! for my encore today.

I wonder if I will get away with this.

Sorry Ladies, I couldn't resist :o

 

Going Fishing?

A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota."

Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job.

"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor.

"How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day.

That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Dakota, but you're not on the farm anymore, son."
The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"
The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".

The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?"
The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing

 

Defining a wife's responsibilities

A new husband was about to set up some standards for his beautiful but meek wife’s behavior.
He starts out by laying out his expectations when he gets home the first evening of the marriages: “I am the MAN of the house, so starting tomorrow I want you to have a hot delicious meal read for me the second I walk through that door…. Afterwards, while watching ESPN and relaxing in my chair, you’ll bring me my slippers and then run my bath… And when I done with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair.?’
His meek wife’s replies: “The funeral director?”

 

I can't take my wife fishing..... she eat's all the bait!!!!!

 

A man boarded a plane with six kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting
Across the aisle from him leaned
Over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?"
"No Ma'am, I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."

 

Find the cat!

Just a little something, my daughter found, on her trawls around the net!

Can you see the Cat?

Morning All,:p

JP

 

I believe I could if I turned on the faucet.

 

A natural blonde was in great pain and went to the emergency room. "Everywhere on my body is painful" she wailed to the doctor. "If I touch my leg it really hurts, if I rub my arm it's agony, if I touch my head I feel like fainting, I can't touch anywhere without pain".
"You're a genuine blonde aren't you" said the doc.
"Yes" she said, "why?"
"Because" said the doc, "your finger's broken".

 

As an natural blonde myself I take acception to that joke (if you English is not good look up "acception", it is not "exception")

 

Not so much a Joke or Quote! (More a thought, for the day)

:p Strange Question was asked. mmmm maybe not so strange though.