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Where's the humor on here?

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff' started by grandpainak, Apr 16, 2007.

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  1. PatO

    PatO DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Marines

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    PatO, Jun 21, 2014
    #2321
  2. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    Jack Peterson, Jun 22, 2014
    #2322
  3. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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  4. Charlie

    Charlie DI Senior Member Restricted Account Veteran Coast Guard

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    tor


    A teacher asks the class to name things that end with 'tor' that eats things.

    The first little boy says, "Alligator."
    "Very good, that's a big word."

    The second boy says, "Predator."
    "Yes, that's another big word. Well done."


     Little Johnny says, "Vibrator."


    After nearly falling off her chair, she says,
    "That is a big word, but it doesn't eat anything."

    "Well my sister has one and she says it eats freakin' batteries like there is
    no tomorrow."
     
    Charlie, Jun 23, 2014
    #2324
  5. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    As we are Talking about Phones! ( somewhere in the forums)

    :confused: You can always tell, when the Kids, have had friends for a stopover, After you have gone to bed.

    The tell tale scene, will usually be in the Lounge(Salon) never in their rooms though, 1 or 2 just may ring and wake them up to answer. View attachment 10827

    JP
     

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    Jack Peterson, Jun 24, 2014
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  6. Broadside

    Broadside DI Forum Patron

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    After a lesson in hygiene, the teacher wanted the class to think of a sentence containing the word "contagious".
    Little Susie said "after using the cr you should wash your hands because the germs in there could be contagious".
    "Very good" said teacher, "Johnny, can you think of one?"
    Johnny said "when I had measles no-one was allowed to visit me coz measles is very contagious".
    "Good, how about you Billy", said teacher looking at the kid at the back with his finger up his nose.
    Billy thought for a minute then said "on Friday night, me mum and dad, and me and me sister all got into the car to go to the supermarket. It was really throwing it down with rain. We was going down the High Street, when this huge truck overtook us, but the driver couldn't stop on the wet road, and he jack-knifed the truck and it totally blocked the road. Nothing could get past one way or the other, we couldn't go forward or back as the traffic built up behind us. We was stuck".
    "Whoa" said the teacher "we are looking for the word contagious".
    "I'm getting there" said Billy "coz me dad was fuming. He switched off the engine and said "that's it. Sod it. I'm going for a beer. It's gonna take that cuntages to shift that truck".
     
    Broadside, Jun 24, 2014
    #2326
  7. Firefly44

    Firefly44 DI Forum Adept

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    Firefly44, Jun 24, 2014
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  8. oztony

    oztony DI Senior Member Blood Donor

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    oztony, Jun 24, 2014
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  9. oztony

    oztony DI Senior Member Blood Donor

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    This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of "VIC BITTER" cheap at the local Bottlo.

    Inline images 1


    I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home.
    I stopped at a service station where a nice looking sheila in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.
    Inline images 2


    She glanced at the two boxes of beer in the car, bent over and leaned in my passenger window, and said in a sexy voice,
    "I'm a big believer in barter, handsome. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?"

    I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of beer 'ya got?"
     
    oztony, Jun 24, 2014
    #2329
  10. shadow

    shadow DI Forum Luminary

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    [​IMG]
     
    shadow, Jun 24, 2014
    #2330
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