Where's the humor on here?

and as turn about is fair play..for the ladies..

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In the US Army they sometimes called the short arm inspection a health and welfare inspection......back in the 80's.

 

An old country preacher... had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young Men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects..


1. A Bible...


2. A silver dollar...


3. A bottle of whisky..

4. And a Playboy magazine...


'I'll just hide behind the door,' the old preacher said to himself. 'When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up.

If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a
blessing that would be!

If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.

But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.

And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.'

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table..

With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.

'Lord have mercy,' the old preacher disgustedly whispered.
'He's gonna run for Congress.'

 

The Marines called it a pecker check. Unfortunately, no lady corpsman in the infantry in those days.

 

The Old Boys club! hmmmm not allowed now of Course.( maybe just the masons?)

Criskey, almost as Bad, as the Freemasons Initiation. :p View attachment 11495


JP

 

GRUMPY These have made a few rounds but for those that have not seen ..here ya go

Enjoy..*GRUMPY*

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If you like *corny* jokes.. the ones that make some people groan?..

this is for you .. I tried to copy paste it into here but its an image and it was too big

20 Jokes So Terrible They're Actually Funny. #14 Is Gold.

 

hmmmmm....

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I have questions

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G ?
******
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

And A FAVORITE:
The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're OK..? (then it's you!)
~
REMEMBER, A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine!

And a day without sunshine is, like...well........night!!!!