Where's the humor on here?

:p



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Some may call it a curse, but I don't remember who they are.

 

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Futuristic Light Rail-Philippine Style

 

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Too short for a post... so I will say...

 

Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the River Thames.

The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me.
We're the same age, we were the same size as kids - I just don't get it.'

'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?'

'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc.

'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'

'On the other side of the river near the car park at Westminster'

'Same here. Hmm.....How do you catch them?' asked the big Croc.

'Well, I crawl up under one of their big Lexus, BMW or Mercedes cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the s**t out of them and eat 'em!'

'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the s**t out of a Politician, there's nothing much left but an *sshole with a briefcase.'

 

An Elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
Told Her preacher she had two final requests.
First, She wanted to be cremated, and second,
She Wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart
'Wal-Mart?' the Preacher exclaimed. Why Wal-Mart?'
'Then I'll be sure my Daughters visit me twice a
week'

 

Why I Like Retirement !
Question: How many Days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question:When is a Retiree's' bedtime?
Answer: Two hours After he falls asleep on the couch.
Question:How many Retirees to change a light Bulb?
Answer: Only one, But it might take all day.
Question: What's the Biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is Not enough time to get everything done.

 

Just Before the funeral services, the undertaker came
Up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How Old was your husband?' '98,' she replied....
'Two Years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the Undertaker commented..
She responded, "Hardly Worth going home, is it?
Just Before the funeral services, the undertaker came
Up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How Old was your husband?' '98,' she replied....
'Two Years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the Undertaker commented..
She responded, "Hardly Worth going home, is it?

 

Undertaker was deaf, the widow had to repeat herself.

 

The dying gay begs his friend to have him cremated and put some of his ashes on a sandwich and eat it.
Sure I will do that my dear the friend answers, but why??
Because he says I want to glide one more time thru your delicious @ss.