Where's the humor on here?

An old man in hosptal mumbled though his mask nurse are my testicles black with that the nurse lifted up the sheet and inspected the man testicels and told him no sir they are fine. With that the man ripped off his mask and said NO NO i said are my test results back
[DOUBLEPOST=1426287180,1426287085][/DOUBLEPOST]An old man in hosptal mumbled though his mask nurse are my testicles black with that the nurse lifted up the sheet and inspected the man testicels and told him no sir they are fine. With that the man ripped off his mask and said NO NO i said are my test results back

 

An old man in hosptal mumbled though his mask nurse are my testicles black with that the nurse lifted up the sheet and inspected the man testicels and told him no sir they are fine. With that the man ripped off his mask and said NO NO i said are my test results back

 

A man was sick and tired of going to work everyday while his wife stayed at home. He wanted
her to see what he went though, so he prayed
Dear lord
I go to work everyday and put in 8 hours while my wife stays at home. Please switch bodies for a day
so she can see what I do. .
God in his infinite wisdom granted his wish.Sure enough the next morning the man was in the woman's
body. He arose and cooked breakfast for his family. Got the kids dressed ,made their school lunch and drove them to school.Came home and cleaned breakfast dishes. Drove to bank to make deposit then went to grocery store to buy food. Came home put away groceries, Paid bills and balanced checkbook. Cleaned out litter box after feeding the cat and bathing the dog. He then fed dog,vacuumed floor. cleaned house, made beds and then dusted. He did the laundry. He then ran and picked up the kids.
He had to stop kids from arguing and give them cookies and milk .He helped them do their homework.

He started peeling the potatoes,washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped green beans and cooked dinner. After supper he did laundry and ironed the clothes.He bathed the kids and finished cleaning up. He went to bed and made love even though he was tired.
Next morning he said Dear Lord what was I thinking . Please allow me to go back to my previous life.
The lord said I will after 9 months. You got pregnant last night.

 

A man sat next to a Beautiful Filipina on an airplane. The Man turned to her and said, “Let’s talk”

Beautiful Filipina: OK what do we talk about”

Man (making fun of the Beautiful Filipina): How about nuclear power?

Beautiful Filipina: Very interesting topic. But let me ask you a question… my horse, my cow and my goat, all eat grass. Yet my goat excretes pellet, cow flat potty and horse clumps, Why?

Man: I don’t know.

Beautiful Filipina: Do you really feel qualified enough to discuss nuclear issues when you don’t know sh*t???

 

A farmer drove up to a neighbours and asked Billy is your dad or mum home? no sir they are in town can i help you ? no i want to talk to them about your brother Bob getting my mary pregant. Well you have to speak to dad about that i know he charges 100 bucks for the bull and 50 for the boar but i dont know what he would charge for Bob

 

Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie," she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary." "I don't believe it for one minute!" Marie snapped."You're just saying that to make me jealous!!!"

 

An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam..

I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady.

"I need both my hands to hold onto this hat."

"But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 75 years old.

I just bought this hat yesterday!"

 

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?" "Oh, Mum," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mum, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please Mum!" "Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you, Mum," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! Come get me, please!" "Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!" Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mum, they were words like dust, wash, iron, cook,sweep the floor!"........................................................

If you want to see something more frightening than a typhoon, take away a Filipina's broom and tell her not to sweep.

 

Teacher asked the class Who can name 3 kings that did great things to improve our lives.Tommy stood up and called out Drin king, Smo king, Bon king

 

A man gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and shouts, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!!!"

His wife asks "Wow! That's incredible! Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"

He answers "I don't care. Just go!"