Where's the humor on here?

...I doubt Hillary has had sex for decades

 

Tell me that wall was not made that way purposely...

 

Don't forget what happened with the cigars reportedly coming from (young Monica) a country whose exports are banned in the USA....

 

I doubt she walked dogs in a long while too...

 

A guy washed up on a island after a shipwreck, after 2 lonely months he saw a woman walking towards him it was Nicole Kidman they soon fell in love and she looked after him in every way. One day Niocile notice he was unhappy she asked can i do any thing to make you happy love? ok he said can you wear my cloths walk and talk like a man she agreed now he asked can you walk down to the beach and stand there, ok . then he called hey mate.Nicole answered in a mans voice yes, the guy called out GUESS WHO IM ROOTING

 

Tyrone

None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity and
clumsiness, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him,
"You're driving me mad, Tyrone."

One day Tyrone's mom came to school to check on how he was doing.
The teacher told his mom honestly, that her son was simply a disaster,
getting very low marks, and that she had never had she seen such a
stupid boy in her entire teaching career. The mom was shocked at the
feedback and withdrew her son from school and moved out of Detroit,
relocating to Cleveland.

Twenty-five years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an almost
incurable cardiac disease. All the doctors strongly advised her to
have heart surgery, which only one surgeon at the Cleveland Clinic
could perform. Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have
the operation, which was successful. When she opened her eyes after
the surgery she saw a handsome young doctor smiling down at her. She
wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn
blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but quickly
died. The doctor was shocked, wondering what went wrong so suddenly.

Then he turned around and saw our friend Tyrone, a janitor in the
Clinic, who had unplugged the life-support equipment in order to
connect his vacuum cleaner.

Don't tell me you thought Tyrone became a heart-surgeon.

 

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an *sshole; his best friend is a p*ssy, and his owner beats him habitually.

 

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room service at a hotel in Asia which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:


Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"


Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."


RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"


G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"


RS: "Ow July den?"


G: "What??"


RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"


G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."


RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"


G: "Crisp will be fine."


RS : "Hokay. An San tos?"


G: "What?"


RS:"San tos. July San tos?"


G: "I don't think so."


RS: "No? Judo one toes??"



G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."


RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow inglish mopping we bother?"


G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.


RS: "We bother?"


G: "No...just put the bother on the side."


RS: "Wad?"


G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."


RS: "Copy?"


G: "Sorry?"


RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"



G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."


RS: "One Minnie. @ss ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"


G: "Whatever you say"


RS: "Tendjewberrymud!"


G: "You're welcome."

 

JP