Dumaguete Info Search


Where's the humor on here?

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff' started by grandpainak, Apr 16, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

    Messages:
    9,092
    Trophy Points:
    451
    Occupation:
    Happily Retired
    Location:
    Northern Junob, Dumaguete City
    Ratings:
    +5,231 / 1,090
    lock out.png I said I was Sorry!:cat:

    JP :bag::cigar:
     
    • Like Like x 2
  2. Show Pony

    Show Pony DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

    Messages:
    1,578
    Trophy Points:
    371
    Ratings:
    +2,423 / 1,265
    I was in the "Texas Rose" tavern last night at the bar waiting for a beer, when a butt-ugly, big old heifer (woman) came up behind me and slapped me on the butt.

    She said, "Hey Sexy, I dig old guys, how about giving me your number?"

    I looked at her and said, "Do you have a pen?"

    "I sure do," she answered.

    "Well," I said, "You better get back into it before the farmer notices you're missing."

    ...My dental surgery is on Monday.
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

    Messages:
    9,092
    Trophy Points:
    451
    Occupation:
    Happily Retired
    Location:
    Northern Junob, Dumaguete City
    Ratings:
    +5,231 / 1,090
    [​IMG] Now is the Truth or not?
    Pictures say it all yes?

    JP :bag::whistling:
     
  4. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Admin Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

    Messages:
    13,106
    Trophy Points:
    451
    Occupation:
    FIRE
    Location:
    Valencia
    Ratings:
    +16,069 / 3,796
    Blood Type:
    O+
    Guam might tip over and capsize if too many military personnel are stationed there - says Democrat Rep. Hank Johnson from Georgia.

    How do people like this get elected? Scary stuff.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  5. Show Pony

    Show Pony DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

    Messages:
    1,578
    Trophy Points:
    371
    Ratings:
    +2,423 / 1,265
    A man received the following text from his neighbour:

    I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been helping myself to your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I do not get it at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't, ever happen again.

    The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

    A few moments later, a second text came in: “Bloody autospell! I meant "wifi, not "wife" . . . . ..”
     
    • Funny Funny x 9
    • Like Like x 1
  6. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

    Messages:
    1,410
    Trophy Points:
    291
    Occupation:
    EXPERT BOLA BOLA
    Location:
    DUMAGUETE
    Ratings:
    +1,296 / 1,129
    Paddy goes into the pharmacy opens a small bottle pours a tea spoon of yellow liquid and ask,s the chemist to taste it and tell him if its sweet, the chemest said its not sweet good said paddy the doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  7. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

    Messages:
    1,410
    Trophy Points:
    291
    Occupation:
    EXPERT BOLA BOLA
    Location:
    DUMAGUETE
    Ratings:
    +1,296 / 1,129
    A guy decided to sun bake on the beach nude he put his hat over his private parts to prevent sunburn , a woman walked and said if you were a gentleman you would lift your hat, the man replyed if you were not so ugly it would have lifted itself
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
  8. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

    Messages:
    9,092
    Trophy Points:
    451
    Occupation:
    Happily Retired
    Location:
    Northern Junob, Dumaguete City
    Ratings:
    +5,231 / 1,090
    :roflmao: Alex have you been on FB again?:smuggrin:

    JP :angelic:
     
  9. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

    Messages:
    1,410
    Trophy Points:
    291
    Occupation:
    EXPERT BOLA BOLA
    Location:
    DUMAGUETE
    Ratings:
    +1,296 / 1,129
    no my grand mother emailed me with that joke
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  10. PatO

    PatO DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Marines

    Messages:
    6,144
    Trophy Points:
    451
    Ratings:
    +4,595 / 1,018
    I heard this one today at the coffee shop today

    Following a necessary medical checkup, the guy gets a call from his doctor saying he must come see the doctor immediately, it can't wait. Seeing the doctor, the doctor tells him I have some good news and some bad news to tell you, which do you want first. The guy tells him he may as well hear the bad news first. The doctor tells him the tests were positive and you probably only have a couple months to live. The guy says sh*t doctor, what is the good news? The doctor says did you see my 19 year receptionist out there withe the long blonde hair, long tanned legs, great boobs, and perfect @ss? The guy says yes, I saw her. The doctor says well I'm f__k__g her.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Loading...