Where's the humor on here?

...

This morning I was sitting on a park bench next to a homeless man, I asked him how he had ended up this way
He said, "Up until last week I still had it all. A cook who cooked my meals, my room was cleaned, my clothes were washed and pressed,
I had a roof over my head, I had TV, internet, I went to the gym regularly, the pool, the library, and I could still go to school.

I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?"
Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "I got out of prison."

 

While getting a checkup, a man tells his doctor that he thinks his wife is losing her hearing. The doctor says, "You should do a simple test. Stand about 15 feet behind your wife and say "honey?" Move 3 feet closer and do it again. Keep moving 3 feet closer until she finally responds." Remember how close you were when she gives you an answer. That will help me know how bad her hearing loss is.

About a month later the same guy is at the doctor again complaining of his wifes hearing problem and the doctor asks, "Well, did you do that experiment with your wife's hearing?" The man says "yes". "How close did you get before she answered?" "Well, by the time I got about 2 feet away she turned around and screamed "For the FIFTH TIME... WHAT???"

 

AN OLDIE, BUT A GOODIE!

The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties early fifties.



"May I help you sir?" she asked.

The man replied, "I want to see Valerie."

"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies.

Perhaps you would prefer someone else", said the madam.

He replied,
"No, I must see Valerie." Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.
Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.
"There are no discounts. The price is still $5000."

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again.

Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?"
The man replied, " Nova Scotia ."

"Really," she said. "I have family in Nova Scotia ."

"I know." the man said. "Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance."

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:


1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer!

 

Makes you think a little Yes?


Just Asking

JP

 

OOOOOOOOOOOK! If it takes 4 minuets to boil an egg, how long to find the number 8 in this lot? 1 min sounds good to me. But.............



AH! Sunday at it's best.

JP