Where's the humor on here?

Decon phils, best laugh i have had this week Stilo

 

Whats Melvin doing there1

 

I'm no Poultryguy!

 

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son
playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train
stop & her son saying, "All of you b*astards who want off, get the hell off
now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you b*astards who are getting
on, get you're a*ss in the train cause we're going down the tracks."
The Mother walked into the room where her son was playing and said "we don't
use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room &
stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train,
but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroo m & resumed playing with his train.

Soon the train stopped & the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are
disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you.
We thank you for travelling with us today & hope your trip was a pleasant one."
She hears the little boy continue, "or those of you just boarding, we ask you to
store all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is
no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing
journey with us today."


As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are
p!ssed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please direct your complaints to
the fat b!tch in the kitchen."

 

It was the first day of school and a new student named Indyawan, the son of a mexican, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. "Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Idyawan, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?"

Again, no response except from Indyawan: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed! Indyawan, who is new to our country, knows more about its' history than you do!"

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!" "Who said that?" she demanded.

Indyawan put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna ****." The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?" Again, Indyawan. "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Indyawan jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the Teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now, with almost mob hysteria, someone said, "You little ****. If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"

Indyawan frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."

The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh S_ _ _, we're in BIG trouble now!"

Indyawan whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003"

 

can't stop laughing

India-One , where do you you get your supplies ?
It is really amusing and I can't get enough. You have a book full of these ?
Let's have some each day ! :D

 

:D :D :D ok ni bai!! Progmeister to India-One, Nov. 8th, 2007 :D

 

i still got some on my mail from friends, i modified some, and maybe in the next humor using forum member names, hehehhe


:D

 

prog, alrights! :D

 

hangin' for prog,ihihih

Prog is hanging upside down from the rafters at a factory when a maetien her coworker walks by.

“What are you doing?” maetien asks.

“I need a few weeks off,” explains prog. “I’m pretending to be nuts.”

Just then the boss jellyfish walks by and sees Prog dangling from the ceiling.

“What are you doing?” asks Jellyfish.

“I’m a light bulb,” answers prog.

“You’re going crazy. Take a vacation.”

Prog jumps down to leave, and the maetien starts to follow him.

“Where do you think you’re going, maetien?” jellyfish asks.

“Home,” maetien replies. “I can’t work in the dark.”