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Where's the humor on here?

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff' started by grandpainak, Apr 16, 2007.

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  1. Crystalhead

    Crystalhead ADMIN Admin ★ Forum Moderator ★ ★ Global Mod ★ ★ Moderator ★ ★★ Forum Sponsor ★★ ★ No Ads ★ Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Army

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    A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.
    “Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks.
    The two Americans just stare at him.
    “Excusez-moi, parlez vous Fracais?” he tries. The two continue to stare.
    “Parlare Italiano?” No response. “Hablan ustedes Espanol?” Still nothing.
    The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.
    The first American turns to the second and says, “Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.”
    “Why?” says the other. “That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.”
     
    • Funny Funny x 7
    Crystalhead, Feb 10, 2016
    #2921
  2. PatO

    PatO DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Marines

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    Rules for public urinating in Dumaguete
    (Feel free to add to this)
    1. Must have nothing to hide
    2. Eat your rice with your fingers
    3. Never seen a wall, tree, or sea that you didn't like
    4. Pedicab driver or wannabe
    5.
    6.
    7.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    PatO, Feb 10, 2016
    #2922
  3. Dave_Hounddriver

    Dave_Hounddriver DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster

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    Oh I like those rules for public urinating. How about this one, never p*ss on your own wall. Be sure to only p*ss on your neighbors wall or the ones belonging to strangers.
     
    Dave_Hounddriver, Feb 10, 2016
    #2923
  4. Show Pony

    Show Pony DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    Show Pony, Feb 11, 2016
    #2924
  5. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

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    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    alex, Feb 11, 2016
    #2925
  6. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

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    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    alex, Feb 12, 2016
    #2926
  7. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    Ah to Understand Women you will need this [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
    Jack Peterson, Feb 12, 2016
    #2927
  8. nwlivewire

    nwlivewire DI Senior Member Showcase Reviewer Blood Donor Veteran Army Navy

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    Gee. I didn't know they had that strong of Viagra back in those days....

    nwlivewire
     
    nwlivewire, Feb 12, 2016
    #2928
  9. Crystalhead

    Crystalhead ADMIN Admin ★ Forum Moderator ★ ★ Global Mod ★ ★ Moderator ★ ★★ Forum Sponsor ★★ ★ No Ads ★ Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Army

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    Two men on a park bench, both with black eyes."Oh the silliest thing... the ticket agent happened to have a magnificent bosom, and though I meant to ask for a ticket to Pittsburgh, it came out as "a picket to Titsburgh," so she punched me in the eye. Second man says "same exact thing happened to me at breakfast with the wife last week. I meant to say, honey, would you please pass the salt?, but what came out was"...... "Dumb arse! You've ruined my life!"
     
    • Like Like x 2
    Crystalhead, Feb 12, 2016
    #2929
  10. Crystalhead

    Crystalhead ADMIN Admin ★ Forum Moderator ★ ★ Global Mod ★ ★ Moderator ★ ★★ Forum Sponsor ★★ ★ No Ads ★ Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Army

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    Celine Dion walks into a bar. Bartender says "Why the long face?
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
    Crystalhead, Feb 12, 2016
    #2930
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