True champions !

Prog and India, you really make my day.
Why you stopped at year 1990 to show ladies drawers, Prog ?:D
1999 is still the 18th century !!
Please go on. Thanks, you both.

 

Chrissar, na unsaon nga naunhan man diay tikaw :D ikaw na pud sa sunod.

Jellyfish, the Band-Aid must have dropped from the line :D

 

Something to do

While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Now, while doing this draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction and there's nothig you can do about it. :D

 

A lady visits the doctor complaining of her husband's sexual difficulties. The doctor asks her if she's tried Viagra.

"Not a chance," she replies. "My husband won't even take an aspirin."

"Not a problem," says the doctor. "Just slip it in his coffee. He won't even taste it."

A week later the woman returns to the doctor.

"It was horrible!" she exclaims. "I did as you told me. The effect was almost immediate. He finished his coffee, picked me up, put me on the table and made vigorous, passionate love to me right there."

The doctor then says, "I don't understand. Wasn't it satisfactory?"

The woman replies, "Oh, yes, it was the best sex I've had in 25 years. But I'll never be able to show my face in Starbucks again."

 

abstain from sex

Three couples—one elderly, one middle-aged, one young and newly wed—apply for membership in a church. The pastor informs them that the requirement for new parishioners is that they abstain from sex for two weeks. The couples agree and go their separate ways.

After two weeks, they return. The pastor asks the elderly pair if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "No problem at all, Pastor," replies the old man.

"Congratulations!" says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He turns to the middle-aged couple and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "It was difficult," replies the husband. "By the end of the second week, I had to sleep on the couch, but we did it."

"Congratulations on overcoming temptation," says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He then turns to the newlyweds and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks.

"At first it was no problem," says the husband. "But one day my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf, and she dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," says the pastor.

"We know," says the young man. "We’re not welcome at the supermarket anymore either."

 

:D ....................................................................................:D

india , Thanks ! you made my day.

 

this is not funny

Three nuns die and go to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.
The first nun says: "I want to be Sophia Loren," and *poof* she's gone.
The second says: "I want to be Madonna," and *poof* she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini!" St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who" he asked?
"Sara Pipalini" replies the nun. St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing.
He hands it back to her and says: "No sister, the paper says it was the ' Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

 

short stories

FLIRTING WITH STYLE
A black man, a white guy, and a Pinoy were at the bar.
SEXY LADY: Whoever can use the words LIVER and CHEESE with style can have me tonight.
WHITE GUY: Steak tht LIVER and melt that CHEESE on me!
BLACK MAN: I hate LIVER but I love CHEESE as I love you!
PINOY: Hey, you two! LIVER alone! CHEESE mine! Yeah!

__________________

A WOMAN'S PRAYER:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to love and forgive him , and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'LL JUST BEAT HIM TO DEATH!!!

_____________________

Sex with a ghost
There was this preacher talking to his followers about any paranormal activity they have experienced. Their topic went to sexual encounter with a ghost. "Has anyone among you experienced having sex with a ghost?" the preacher has asked. The middle aged man at far corner of the room reluctantly raised his hand. The preacher shocked in disbelief asked the man, "Please tell us how was it having sex with a ghost". The man replied: "Oh I am so sorry Father, I thought you said GOAT"

 

best of the day

I give my voting for the best of today and yesterday to the Starbuck story.
It took a bit of time before the tears dropped from my face :D :D :D but then I could not stop them falling down.