Where's the humor on here?

A penguin took his car to the repair man, while he was waiting he walked to a nearby shop and purchased a ice cream. a lot of ice cream dripped on to his feet. the repair said looks like you have blown a seal, no replied the penguin that,s just ice cream,

 

Three guys travel to Saudi Arabia and get lost. They walk into a tent that they think was the one they rented, but actually belongs to a prince with 3 hot wives. The prince comes home and thinks his wives are cheating on him. As a punishment, he tells them that their penises will have to be cut off in some way relating to their occupation.
He asks the first guy what his job was.
"I'm an employee at the shooting range," he replies.
"Then we'll shoot your dick off!" the prince says.
"I'm a fireman," the second guy says.
"Then we'll burn your cock off!" says the prince.
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."

 

A man's dick keeps getting longer and longer until it is touching the ground. So he and his wife go to a urologist. "No problem, there's a simple operation to fix this," says the urologist. The man's wife asks, "How long will he be on crutches?" "Crutches? Why crutches?" asks the urologist. "You're going to lengthen his legs, aren't you?" replies the wife.

 

Probably posted before but I am not going to look through 304 pages of jokes... now for the second joke:

One young Filipina had her choice of three expats men to marry she was telling her friend. Each seemed to have the same financial ability to support her. One was in his early 40, physically fit, and always moving about with lots of adventures. The second had recently moved here to enjoy the retired life. He was active but not adventurous, and only in his early 60s. The third was 92, and in frail health. He seldom got out of bed, and she would have to go out by herself if she wanted adventure in her life. Her friends asked who she was going to marry, and she calmly replied, “the oldest one, he will not live as long”. Just a little perspective into a Filipina’s decision making process.... hahahaha ( Ever hear “FOGED” “Fat old guy easy die” as a description for an Expat?) .

 

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An illegal immigrant picks up a hooker. "Hey, how much you charge for da hour, sister?" he asks. "$100" she replies. In broken English, he says, "Do you do immigrant style?" "No" she says. "I pay you $200 to do immigrant style." "No," she says, not knowing what immigrant style is. "I pay you $300." "No," she says. "I pay you $400." "No," she says. So finally he says, "OK, I pay $1,000 to do immigrant style". She thinks, "Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now. I've had every kind of request from weirdoes from every part of the world. How bad could immigrant style be?" So she agrees and has sex with him. Finally, after several hours, they finish. Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, "Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. But that was ok. So, what exactly is immigrant style?" The illegal immigrant replies you send the bill to the government

 

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his expensive wool vest and said "I invested my last nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents." "The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $9.80." "Then my wife father died and left us 2 million dollars