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Where's the humor on here?

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff' started by grandpainak, Apr 16, 2007.

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  1. Show Pony

    Show Pony DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    After an extensive investigation (almost on par with a PNPinquiry ) it appears that when I swipe the screen up, inadvertently the trolling button can be activated.
    By the way who drinks tea for breakfast?
     
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  2. robert k

    robert k DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Veteran Army

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    I drank tea for breakfast because it had more caffeine than the coffee I tried.
     
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  3. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

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    The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night.
    I told her I was looking for cheap flights.
    "I love you!" she said, and then she got all excited, she quickly undressed and we had the most amazing sex ever....
    Which is odd, because she's never shown an interest in my fishing trips before
     
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  4. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

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    [​IMG]
     
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  5. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

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    A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. "And you, Susie? " the teacher asks. Susie says i want to be johnny,s b*tch
     
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  6. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

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    gotta laugh ........someone posted in bacolod buy and sell........""shabu for sale reduced to p10 per kilo ....closing down sale'
     
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  7. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

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    ·
    [​IMG]
     
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  8. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

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    [​IMG]
     
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  9. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

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    [​IMG]

    Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the River.The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids - I just don't get it.'

    'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?'

    'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc.

    'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'

    'On the other side of the river near the Parliament car park in Canberra.

    'Same here. Hmm.....How do you catch them?' asked the big Croc.

    'Well, I crawl up under one of their big Lexus, BMW or Mercedes cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the sh*t out of them and eat 'em!'

    'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not
    getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the sh*t out of a Politician, there's nothing much left but an arsehole with a briefcase
     
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  10. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

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    A city slicker shoots a duck out in the country. As he's retrieving it, a farmer walks up and stops him, claiming that since the duck is on his farm, it technically belongs to him. After minutes of arguing, the farmer proposes they settle the matter "country style."
    "What's country style?" asks the city boy.
    "Out here in the country," the farmer says, "when two fellers have a dispute, one feller kicks the other one in the balls as hard as he can. Then that feller, he kicks the first one as hard as he can. And so forth. Last man standin' wins the dispute."
    Warily the city boy agrees and prepares himself. The farmer hauls off and kicks him in the groin with all his might. The city boy falls to the ground in the most intense pain he's ever felt, crying like a baby and coughing up blood. Finally he staggers to his feet and says, "All right, n-now it's–it's m-my turn."
    The farmer grins. "Aw, hell, you win, keep the duck

    Read more on page: Best New Jokes
     
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