Where's the humor on here?

1 min ·

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A boy paid a girl $10 to climb a flagpole. She agrees and climbs the flagpole. When she gets home she tells her mother what happened. Her mother said "honey, he just wanted to see your underwear." The next day the same boy was standing by the flagpole and said "I will give you $20 to climb the flagpole." Again she agrees and climbs. She goes home and tells her mother "mom the boy paid me to climb the flagpole again, but I outsmarted him this time. I didn't ware any undies

 

The owner of a golf course on the Gold Coast was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from the University of Queensland and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, “Everything but my earrings.”

 

Advise needed...........I,m a sailor in the Australian Navy ,,,my parents live in West Australia and my New Zealand brother in law lives in Adelaide ....My mother and father got busted for drugs and are waiting trial in court ,,,My only brother is serving a life sentence for rape and murder ..My other
2 sisters work in a brothel in melbourne to support my parents ...........i,m in love with a nice girl who says she loves me as i love her ..She knows nothing of my family background ...I want to marry her and feel i Should be completely honest with her but fear losing her ..............should i tell her i have a new Zealand brother in law or not ??

 

yes tell him but leave out the part about the sheep

 

3 mins ·

 

Neil Domaille
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Neil Domaille shared Keep Calm And Oh Feck It, Enjoy Some Craic.'s photo.
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An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides