Where's the humor on here?

A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes :

"USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"

She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note:

"USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"

The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from him:

"I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES!!!
USE MORE PAPER ON @ss!!"

 

You can't beat a good skid mark :D :D

 

That's really a good one I-1.:D :D :D

 

SumTing Wong's JOB INTERVIEW

SumTing Wong went for a job interview to be a secretary.
When the manager saw Sum Ting Wong's colorful attire
and gold & white-highlighted hair, his mind is
screaming "NOT THIS WOMAN". Nevertheless, he still
had to entertain SumTing Wong.
So he told Sum Ting Wong, "If you could form a
sentence using the words that I'll give you, then
maybe I will give you a chance!. The words are
GREEN,PINK, YELLOW,BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK"
Sum Ting Wong thought for a while and said:
"I hear the phone GREEN, GREEN, GREEN, then I go and
PINK up the phone,I say YELLOW....BLUE's that? WHITE
did you say? Aiyah,wrong number, lah.... Don't
PURPLEly disturb people and don't call BLACK, ok?
Thank You."

 

A reporter interviewing a famous bullfighter

REPORTER >> How do usually spend your time when there is no game or practice.
FIGHTER >> I lie on my veranda.
REPORTER >> I see, what about during holidays, how do you spend those times?
FIGHTER >> As I have said, I lie on my veranda.
REPORTER >> What about those short moments like after taking your lunch, how do you relax?
FIGHTER >> Well, I still lie on my veranda.
REPORTER >>(Getting curious already) It seems that you spend most of your time lying on your veranda, it looks like you have no time for your wife at all. Its amazing that your wife is not mad when you got no time for her.
FIGHTER >> No no senior. You dont get it. Veranda is my wife.

 

When photos go wrong

Hampshire police thought it would be a good idea to advertise on the back of buses. Their planning didn’t take into account the position of the exhaust pipe…:D

 

A kid goes to his dad and asks, "Dad, what are politics?"

His dad replies, " Put it this way; I am the breadwinner of the family so I am capatilism. Your mom is the owner of the money so she is government. The government is the provider for the people so you are the people. Your baby brother will be the future, and the nanny is the working class. Now think about that."

So he went to bed. He was woken by his brother. The baby had pooped in his diaper. He went to tell his parents, but he only found his mom asleep in the bed. He didn't want to wake her, so he went to the nanny. The door was locked. He checked through a hole and saw the dad in bed with the nanny. He went back to bed. The next morning, he went to his dad and said, "Dad i know what you mean now."

"You do? Tell me."

"OK, while capatilism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, while the people are watching the future being pooped on!!!"

 

Maria was a devouted Catholic. She and her husband had 17 children, then her husband died. She remarried two weeks later, and had 22 children with her second husband who also passed away. Eventually Maria herself died. At her wake, the priest looked tenderly at Maria as she lay in her coffin, looked up to Heaven and said, "God bless them - at last, they're together." A man standing next to him asked, "Excuse me Father. But do you mean her first husband and her, or her second husband and her?" The priest responded, "I mean her legs."

 

continue continue !

After reading this my cheeks are hurting, but I'm all awake in the early morning :D Go on go on.

 

5 Best Things to Say When Caught Sleeping at Your Desk:
submitted by Liz Kroll

5. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."

4. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to."

3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."

2. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?" And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...

1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, Amen."


:D